[Dialogue] Interesting analogy.

[aiseayew]

I appreciate the analogy and wish I had the poetry available to me to do as 
well with another, but I am convinced that sociologically it more like 
dealing with a dry drunk. (Some abusers are dry drunks, but there are 
additional cautions.)  Since the dry drunk isn't drinking anymore, you are 
supposed to be proud of his accomplishments.  Anything you do to cross him 
may be seen as trying to undermine his progress, one day at a time.  If you 
aren't supportive of his journey, you are reminded that you were an enabler 
of his alcoholism.  If my memory serves me it was the book, The Addictive 
Society by Anne Wilson Schaef, that let me begin to understand and 
eventually survive a boss that was a dry drunk.  Addicted for years and then 
"sober" but not doing anything to shead light on the journey, he was 
constantly acting out his anger at not having/taking that next drink/fix, 
almost as if the adrenaline of fury had become his substitute.  I was way 
too naieve to figure it out for a long time.  I can admit that I was 
victimized by this individual, but I always look for other language because 
it is far too easy to sit back with your victimhood and do nothing, or 
because he is "dry" try harder.

Can anyone help us with better, more positive language to describe the one 
who has walked away, who is taking a new direction?  Using the image of the 
victim still leaves the victimizer defining the terms in a strange way.  I 
rather feel that is not their perrogative from the moment you turn your back 
on the situation.

Margaret Aiseayew

----- Original Message ----- 
From: <KroegerD at aol.com>
To: <MICAH6-8 at topica.com>
Cc: <Dialogue at wedgeblade.net>
Sent: Monday, December 13, 2004 9:54 AM
Subject: [Dialogue] Interesting analogy.