[Dialogue] Heaven or Hell?

[jim rippey]

In the last month or so, C-Span had a talk Ted Koppel gave at an eastern
university and he started out by reading this "which he'd just gotten off
the internet."  It's been around quite a while, actually, but I still enjoy
it.

Jim Rippey in sunny Bellevue, Ne (today, at least)

----- Original Message ----- 
From: <FacilitationFla at aol.com>
To: <Dialogue at wedgeblade.net>
Sent: Thursday, February 17, 2005 1:57 PM
Subject: [Dialogue] Heaven or Hell?


> The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University
> of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
> "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,
> which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
>
>  Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
> (absorbs heat)?
>
> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
> cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
>
> One student, however, wrote the following:
>
> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
> need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
> which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
> gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
>
> As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
> Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
that
> if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
there
> is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more
> than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
>
>  With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls
> in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of
the
> volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature
> and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
> proportionately as souls are added.
>
>  This gives two possibilities:
>
>  1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
> enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
> all Hell breaks loose.
>
>   2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
> Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>
>   So which is it?
>
>  If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
> that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take
into
> account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be
> true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
> over.
>
> The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
> follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
> extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine
> being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
>
>  THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A
>
>
>
>
>
> Cynthia N. Vance
> Strategics International Inc.
> 8245 SW 116 Terrace
> Miami, FL 33156
> 305-378-1327
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