[Dialogue] Indiana: The New Terrorist Target?

Mon Aug 21 14:05:55 EST 2006

AlterNet

Indiana: The New Terrorist Target?

By Molly Ivins, AlterNet
Posted on August 17, 2006, Printed on August 21, 2006
http://www.alternet.org/story/40497/

The most cunning refinement yet in the administration's plot to scare the
liver, lights and onions out of us with Tales of Terror Plots is the
Department of Homeland Security's brilliant move to declare Indiana the
national center of terrorism, with 8,591 potential targets.

Many citizens have questioned the Indiana move -- some claiming it is a
waste of money trying to stop attacks on the Wabash Cannonball. The Statue
of Liberty and the Washington Monument might merit a little more attention.
This is precisely why it is better to have Michael Chertoff and Karl Rove
making the Homeland Security decisions, rather than Osama bin Laden.

The defeat of Connecticut Sen. Joe Lieberman in the Democratic primary
alerted Veep Dick Cheney to the menace. Ned Lamont, the guy who beat
Lieberman, said he was surprised that Cheney claimed his victory would
embolden Osama bin, as we call him Texas.

"My God, here we have a terrorist threat against hearth and home, and the
very first thing that comes out of their mind is how we can turn this to
partisan advantage," complained Lamont. Lieberman warned that Lamont's call
for a phased withdrawal of troops from Iraq would be "taken as a tremendous
victory" by the terrorists. Cheney said it would encourage "the al-Qaida
types" who want to "break the will of the American people in terms of our
ability to stay in the fight and complete the task."

Wow. How little we realized the fate of a single senator -- especially such
a whiny and sanctimonious one -- meant everything to Osama bin. Must've
pulled off his turban and danced around his cave when he got the news. The
whole al-Qaida bunch stayed up just to hear the late returns from Darien,
Conn.

Give President Bush another five years or so, and he's bound to figure out
that Osama bin is not in Iraq -- then we'll be right on his tail. Meanwhile,
back in Washington, The Hill newspaper reports that an Enron lobbyist
(former aide to Joe Lieberman and money-raiser for him and convicted
Republican Connecticut Gov. John Rowland, whom he describes as being
"like-minded guys") is demanding that Democratic senators not campaign
against Lieberman. When asking other professional influence-peddlers to
contribute, he tells them to come back for Lieberman, saying, "Who knows
what Lamont would be like?"

For example, Lamont might use his power to make sure the Enron investigation
gets serious -- a task Lieberman, ranking Democrat on the Government Affairs
Committee, has avoided. No surprise that the lobbyists and insiders want to
keep their guy.

In other news, we have the answer to a troubling part of the Middle East
jigsaw puzzle: how to rebuild Iraq. We ought to drop Halliburton like a
skilletful of rattlesnakes and get Hezbollah on the job. Did you ever see a
better rebuilding bunch than this Hezbollah? The shooting hadn't even
stopped yet when the "Army of God" was hustling around with plywood and duct
tape, putting everything back together. And who do they get to pay for it
all, but the Arabs. Now that's what I call rebuilding! 

Molly Ivins writes about politics, Texas and other bizarre happenings. 

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