[Dialogue] Urgent -- Computer Warnings!

[jim rippey]

Here I am coming up on 59 years with Wife 1.0 and now you tell me.  Maybe ignorance really is bliss.

Jim Rippey in sunny Bellevue, NE  
  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: FacilitationFla at aol.com 
  To: Dialogue at wedgeblade.net 
  Sent: Monday, May 15, 2006 12:35 PM
  Subject: [Dialogue] Urgent -- Computer Warnings!



    Dear Tech Support:
    >>
    >> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. and I soon 
    >> noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that 
    >> took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 
    >> installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other 
    >> system activity: applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, 
    >> Hunting and Fishing 7.5 and
    >> Racing 3.6.
    >>
    >> I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to 
    >> run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to 
    >> Girlfriend 7.0 but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please 
    >> help!
    >>
    >> Thanks,
    >> Troubled User
    >>  
    >> ______________________________
    >>
    >>
    >> Dear Troubled User:
    >>
    >> This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people 
    >> upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a 
    >> Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM 
    >> and is designed by its creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also 
    >> impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is 
    >> impossible to
    >> uninstall or purge the program files from the system once installed.
    >>
    >> You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to 
    >> disallow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under 
    >> "Warnings-Alimony-Child Support".
    >>
    >> I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the 
    >> situation.  I suggest installing the background application "Yes 
    >> Dear" 5.0 to alleviate software augmentation.
    >>
    >> The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE 
    >> because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before 
    >> the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, 
    >> but it tends to be very high maintenance.
    >>
    >> Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 
    >> 3 .0, Cook  It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you 
    >> use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the 
    >> program NagNag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the 
    >> performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I 
    >> recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.
    >>
    >> W ARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With 
    >> Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and 
    >> will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
    >>
    >> Best of luck.
    >>  
    >> TECH SUPPORT


  Cynthia N. Vance
  Strategics International Inc.
  8245 SW 116 Terrace
  Miami, Florida, 33156
  305-378-1327; fax 305-378-9178
  http://members.aol.com/facilitationfla


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