[Dialogue] Thanks to P. Schrijnen

[Carol Crow]

Geri,

I add my voice to those who say "Thank You".  What happened at Vail in 
2000 was a needed catharsis that allowed many of our OE families to be 
in healthy relationship with their children once again.  It promoted 
conversations that needed to occur.

Carol

On Jun 2, 2007, at 9:14 AM, Geri Tolman wrote:

> Bill and/or Barbara,
>
> 	I'm surprised and saddened to hear that you were disappointed in the
> Vale meeting and that you felt that your hopes of building long-term
> relationships with colleagues got waylaid.
>
> 	It is my view that the abuse of our children that was finally
> revealed in Vale was one of the most helpful steps we could have taken 
> in
> allowing our children to be finally heard, believed, and taken 
> seriously.
> To suggest that the abuse which went on was maltreatment "by a few 
> people"
> misses the whole point.  We set ourselves up to be "an experimental 
> family
> religious order".  In my opinion we were as arrogant and lax as the 
> Catholic
> Church was during that same period of time when they sheltered and
> re-assigned pedophiles who were reported to their hierarchy.  Living 
> out of
> "the past is approved" assumes, I believe, that you actually KNOW what 
> went
> on in the past, not that you were blissfully unaware of our 
> organizational
> failure to care for our children.  It happened on "our watch" -- we all
> failed the children whose lives were so brutally affected -- to claim
> otherwise, to point the finger at a few, is to admit that the scope of 
> our
> caring wasn't as comprehensive as we pretended.
>
> 	Hopefully any talks about the future will consider this failure,
> along with other failures, and will build in the necessary safeguards 
> rather
> than try to sweep them under the rug.
>
> Geri Tolman
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: dialogue-bounces at wedgeblade.net
> [mailto:dialogue-bounces at wedgeblade.net] On Behalf Of William Alerding
> Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2007 5:41 PM
> To: Colleague Dialogue
> Subject: [Dialogue] Thanks to P. Schrijnen
>
> Paul,
>
> 	We enjoyed your recent reflections, as well as Carlos Zervigon's.
> You have articulated our beliefs also. We were shocked and saddened 
> when the
> Order was called out of being, but we too have readjusted our lives. 
> Like
> you, we still feel close to our old colleagues and enjoy hearing from 
> them.
> Hopefully, something helpful will come out of the gathering in Toronto.
>
> 	We were disappointed in our Vale meeting in 2000. Our hope of
> building long-term relationships with our colleagues got waylaid when
> everyone went off on a tangent out of guilt about how some of our 
> youth were
> maltreated by a few people. The whole experience went downhill from 
> there,
> while too many of our colleagues could not live out of "the past is
> approved"  understanding. It was difficult for us to see how we were 
> going
> to talk together about the future after it was decided to spend the 
> rest of
> our time rollercoasting downhill into the past.
>
> 	Thanks for articulating our feelings also.  Love to Christine.
>
> Bill and Barbara Alerding
>
>
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