[Dialogue] Ron Griffith Update

Wed Feb 11 08:22:35 EST 2009

Thanks, Beret, for your news and reflections.  The reflections are very helpful.

In 1988 I made a list of the people I had known well who had died.  School-mates, universit colleagues. uncles and aunts, a grandmother (the other grandparents had died before my birth), my father (at the age of 70, in 1955, when I was 8 yrs old), older people and younger people and contemporaries with whom I had worked in schools and elsewhere.

I don't know why I had to do it.  Maybe a squeezeplay was giving me a nudge.  Maybe it was the death that year of a girlfriend's father, a father-substitute.  His funeral, with Welsh flag ("the Welsh love their women so much they put one on their flag") and Welsh hymns and the Welsh national anthem - the funeral director, a man named Jones, was seen to weep.  Through my relationship with that family I learned how to speak with the stereotypical Welsh accent from the valleys, boyo.

That reflection, like the documentary narrated by Leonard Cohen on The Tbetan Book of the Dead, probably prepared me for my mother's death in 2001, and others since.  Like studying The Dark Night of the Soul in 1974/75 prepared me for the diagnosis of clinical dsepression in early 2000.

Nothing changes - and yet everything changes.  We still weep.  And often when we least expect to.  W H Auden said something about "holding it in" for too long turning the heart into a stone.

I have images of the doctor telling Eleni Kazantzakis "This man should be dead", but Kaz had a few more words to write.  I have images of my mother: "I'm not ready to go yet".  I have images of R Brian Standfield.  I have memories of Jay Antenen's twinkling eyes.  And Anne Slicker's gracious style.  And so on.

And I remember you and Ron from my time in the US.  You're in my prayers.  I'm glad you're having a good time - "good" can have so many layers of meaning, can't it?

Cheers

Frank

Date: Tue, 10 Feb 2009 22:43:14 -0600To: oe at wedgeblade.net; dialogue at wedgeblade.net; springboard at wedgeblade.netFrom: beretgriffith at charter.netSubject: [Dialogue] Ron Griffith UpdateDear Friends and Colleagues, A lot has happened in the past few weeks. Mid-January Ron was hospitalized at Rochester Methodist Hospital at Mayo to treat a severe reaction to chemotherapy. We returned home on Friday January 23rd with encouragement to contact hospice. The next week we had an appointment with Ron's oncologist at Mayo. Basically chemotherapy is toxic to Ron's body and doing more harm than good. He recommended stopping treatments, both infusion and pills. There is the option of entering a Phase 1 drug trial - the first trials after testing on animals. Phase 1 trials are not designed for effectiveness of a drug but to determine safety and tolerability, have the most potential risk and the least likelihood of benefit, adding only a couple of weeks to life.  Ron's quality of life will be best without any further treatment and hospice care will be the most helpful in extending the length and quality of his life. At the end of the visit with his doctor, Ron asked that since he is no longer on chemotherapy and his liver isn't in as much danger, if he could have a martini. The doc had a good laugh and said "yes". So we had martinis that night and Ron had his first solid food in a while, a well chewed olive...Ron's spirits, mind and sense of humor are all in good shape. He is on a liquid diet because of obstructions in the intestinal tract caused by both the cancer and chemotherapy. The Hospice crew is great and are helpful with nutritional information, general encouragement and now pain management. Last week Ron began experiencing significant pain, is receiving pain medication as needed and remains comfortable. We are out and about some, taking in local concerts when possible and are both enjoying visits from friends and family. Of course Ron loves talking with people and a few folks stop by every day to talk. Next week Ron will be speaking with members of Junto, a group of men in town who meet regularly for an evening of conversation about education, philosophy, spirituality, practical application, invention, wisdom-sharing, poetry, music, and politics. The invitation says, "Imagine that this older brother is struggling with  terminal cancer, and that he has the courage, insight, humor and energy to share his life’s story, reflections, and emotions with you while he lives" - it will be a great evening. Ron plans to begin his story with the Prologue to Saviors of God. The invitation came via our former UMC pastor, an Academy grad, now the District Superintendent and another man who was in the Faith Journey Retreat that John and Lynda Cock offered through our church in the spring of 2007. We are treasuring our time together and are being well cared for by kids, grandchildren, extended family, friends, the food co-op community, the Northfield community and...of course our foundational community - all of you. We are grateful for your presence, for the notes, poems, prayers, books, music, stories, and good wishes many of you have sent our way. Grace and Peace,Beret & Ron
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