[Dialogue] Fw: Epiphany Greetings (with apologies for duplication)
Jim Baumbach
wtw0bl at new.rr.com
Tue Jan 6 13:24:55 EST 2009
Margaret, I hope you can appreciate the tears of laughter your witness
brought to me. When I was going through all the shenanigans of treating
my penal cancer with complete removal and subsequent surgery on my lymph
nodes to check if the cancer had spread elsewhere, one of the great
experiences I encountered was to have all my operations and gooey yuck
photographed for "posterity." The nurses, all female, frittered around
me like fanatic paparazzi who, in their gracious concern, covered the
uninteresting parts with contrasting colored paper and used their
Polaroid cameras with flash attachments to get the best possible
exposure. At least they didn't show my face!
I thought all this significant demonstration of absent maleness was over
until my doctor decided to have a new female intern do a prostrate exam
on me in his office. He told me she was just learning and needed some
real life experience. Should I profess my embarrassment by saying "no"
or should I pretend like this sort of thing happened every day? The
coward in me won out and so I was examined by a slightly startled
intern. I never did learn her name!
Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. Believe me, I know the
depth of professional abstraction when it comes to parts of us that have
had a tremendous impact on our personal lives.
You are in my prayers.
Jim Baumbach.
Margaret Helen Aiseayew wrote:
> Dear, dear ones,
>
> I cannot begin to thank you adequately for all of the encouragements,
> and good thoughts and healing wishes, energy and light sent my way.
> The surgery (a week ago yesterday) went very well. The drains are
> out. The staples (over 90) have been removed. Swelling is moderate.
> Some cancer cells were found in some of the lymph nodes and no cancer
> cells were found in some, so what will come is waiting for the
> oncology set to weigh in later in the week. I just wanted you to
> know that I am doing well and feeling surrounded by circles of love
> and care.
>
> I also felt compelled to comment on epiphany. Those who cannot
> tolerate graphic images should delete now. Everyone says that a
> cancer patient must be informed, be their own best advocate, read and
> research all that they can, etc. I have taken this advice from many
> very seriously, looking up word after word trying to make sense of the
> pathology reports especially. Since I did not opt for reconstruction,
> the surgery removes the breast through elliptical (football shaped
> sort of) incisions that are brought together with the hope that you
> will eventually be flat once all the swelling goes down. The
> pathology reports all the pieces that are received in great detail
> including the skin attached on the major breast pieces. Even the not
> completely healed incision from the lumpectomy was carefully described
> on the right breast. There is a gross description, the micro
> description and the diagnostic description.
>
> In summary, the pathology report said that my nipples were
> unremarkable. I am sorry to report to the medical professionals that
> they have missed the mark completely. It would be alright if they
> were to comment that the nipples were normal or average or properly
> colored or not inverted or millions of other descriptive terms or
> phrases, but they are not unremarkable. These nipples (and those of
> the majority of other women who have had to have them removed)
> channeled milk to my children. These nipples were sensitive to the
> feel of every kind of material that touched them. They held the most
> wonderful nexus of nerve endings that would send messages clear to my
> toes. They would react before the rest of my body to both temperature
> and danger. They provided comfort not only in feeding my children but
> also in comforting my grandchildren and probably were a part of the
> sense of comfort extended to hundreds of others through open arms,
> through hugs, as the foundation of a shoulder to cry on. If you can
> describe a woman's nipple as unremarkable, I doubt that you would
> recognize an epiphany if it pulled the rug right out from under your
> feet. This is someone who is undoubtedly lacking the capacity to
> recognize miracles, and surely unwilling to name their name. Saddest
> of all, even if they had some rare inkling of the manifestation of
> essence or meaning, they would probably fail to share it. Perhaps
> this is central to the many crises of faith in our time. If people
> are not willing to name the name of miracles that surround us daily,
> if they are embarassed by the awesome wonder of their belief system
> whatever it is, the story dies here and now. Paradigm shifts go
> unrecognized and unreported. New consciousness never travels beyond
> the one and critical mass becomes impossible to attain.
>
> This stream of reflection implies to me that Epiphany is more
> important than ever. Each and every time we experience it, we need to
> shout it from the rooftops. I pray this day that you have a glorious
> Epiphany. Grace and Peace, Margaret
>
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