Greatest danger in poetry of OW is that it be only spatial. Most subtle temptation we face is to slip into another kind of absolutism, static imagery. I've thought the time would come when we had to recover spatial.

Certain guidelines we have to check: Myself in relation to Mystery/Freedom/Unlimited Responsibility/Problemlessness, Peace

Illus.: I jolt myself constantly to the Mystery being present only in concretions. If it is in some abstract: No. It is not another world in this sense. 9~xxd~rx It is the other world, but does not exist save this world exists: an the sweatiness of life as it is.


The I am's: I am the bread of life

I am the true wine

I am the good shepherd

I am the door

I am the light of the world

I am the resurrection

I am the life

Before Abraham I am

I am the way

I am the truth

I am the living water

I am the Alpha and the Omega

I am the first and the last

I am the beginning add the end

I remember as clearly as tho it were yesterday, the story of the man who came and asked Jesus, called him good master. Jesus was standing there drawing together all these I am's, never missed a beat.

If I had to give 4 lectures today I'd do this:

. 1. I am my freedom and I am freedom

2. I am my creativity and I am creativity

3. I am my conscience or I am conscience.

In the Other world, no imperative, only the indicative. None of this has

anything to do with any other person.

4. I' am my accountability or I am accountability.

Intensification of the "I". The I only exists to be conscious about.

Personhood is far more than a systematic organization of insights relative

to the psyche of man. And yet I don't want to fall back into Kantianism.

RELATION TO POPULAR PREACHING: this (the lectures for the summer) would

be the stuff of popular preaching.

Recovery of Catholic substance, human secular, this worldly spiritual.

This is the stuff out of which revival will be formed, I thin8. Crucial to

NRM, Order, Movement, Church ? NSV.

I AM'S: Context.

I've looked at I am in terms of mission. Jo, first of all they are statements of awareness. He wasn't saying something metaphysical about himself, but himself in personal relation to the mystery. If you are in OW, you will be the door, the way, ;.. but that's not right, that's intellectual. We have shied away from saying I am, it has to do with the authenticeness. It is the I am that is important 7 not the freedom (etc.)

4/4/72 I' AM'S: CONT (cons)

(cont) We are not going to any Aristotelian method to spell these out; sheer art. If the other world doesn't have to do with every day life. it is not right. It better show in your life. You can't conjugate that: yesterday I am, day I am.

Key to Monotheism: I am.

4/5/72 I AM.

I am the Alpha and Omega. The glory of everything that will come into being in me, and all the destruction is me.


I'm after reality. When I grapple with this, I'm aware of my nothingness.

The zero that is my I am. Delivered of waiting to be somebody. Radical Contingency Never can be frustrated again.

I am my situation. Nothing ever outside of me ever has anything to do with it. I create the situation. Turning matter into spirit. I shape and mold my situation. I am universe. A fine line here. You see that situation.

My presence is what the presence that everyman must be. Indicative is that every man is the Man.


Here you're aware of the situation Other than me, plus mystery. History can only move out of me and not me plus. Aware at the same moment I am mystery, while mystery remains other than me. You become aware of mystery yourself sense of falling into mystery. They you are aware you are sent into the world not to be the family, nation., but humanity. Pulled out of the womb of human being not any particular. At that point you are aware you are creativity.

4/7/72 I AM. If in your mind you'd try this on: I (that is me) am (that is is) door-the door. Therefore I is the door, of the door. Me, but the me that is I, that is, My God! I is that door. I is the bread. My God, that is me that is I in me is the water. fly God! That is I that is I in me is the water. Let that buzz around in your brain. Not interested in metaphysical or theology.

METHODOLOGY. Use the methodology of Psalms. Get yourself at the center. I is water. Is is the water. Could only say that at the center. What happened the night before that occasioned external explosion that caused internal implosion that called for the state of being articulated in "I" is water of life. All my life I've been looking for the bread of life. MY GOD! I is the bread of life!

I'm falling and falling and I can't find anything to hold onto. Can't find, image any context. Nothing to grab. Falling, then I explode, no we, back, no home, no hope, lost, then suddenly, I'm here, I'm home, I'm found. STORY: One time at the edge of Sarah Buss's ranch in West Texts. Was walking around, realized Jesus was walking with me. We came across a sheepfold, where they hold them while they go to look for strays. Jesus put his foot on a slat and arms an top. Mentioned securing the sheep from the enemies of sheep and wandering off to gullies . Keep them from getting lost. He said. that's sort of my life. I've been looking for protection from forces down inside and external forces that always want to sand in my being. Given, you might say, Joe, all my life I've been looking for the sheepfold. Then a glow, garments) gleamed, said out loud with passion and a note of incredibility, said: "my God, I am the sheepfold. Stood there sort of ~a awe struck for a long time. The awe reached out and enveloped me too and a little later he did what I thought at the time was repeat. As I look back now it's different. He said I am the sheepfold. And we left and I wasn't clear but I knew I had stood in the presence of one who had stumbled into the Other world. He was declaring the indicative. He didn't bother to philosophize. He saw himself securely related to all the forces within and without. I could see suddenly he had beheld himself as the mystery. I even think he reasoned out he was clear that what he said came not from him but the Mystery. If he had been a theologian he might have talked about God.

CONTEXT: If you had to say in terms of your own life how this I AM comes to you in the 20th c., unrepeatable. What are the figures of speech you use. I begin with time in which I live and yet I have this tied to my inner life. I don't think I could say what I'm going to say in the 19th or 18th C. The incredible I am for me is the I is I Freedom. My God, I is freedom and then as any teacher has to do, I have to take it apart and put it back together. Add every part, tho abstract has to be grounded in times and my history.

CONSCIENCE: CPOSSIING THE RIVER. Suddenly you find the moral dimension intensified beyond the breaking point. You are across the river beyond the moral. Aware that what you have to answer for in life is not a code of rules but your life. Seized with terror, know sin. Kierkeguaard dealing with sin, quite different from despair. Only when you touch the ontological dimension of the ethical do you know what sin is. My mind goes to Paul when he personified sin as a power in your life. You see that power. All indicative. All given. The first time in your life with direct sight you see what authentic life means.


You know no good or evel except 3rd term. No third term but you. Cold as frozen steel, naked, lucid awareness -that they've never any answer ever again. You have to are ate the good and evil. All your life have to live in culture against-Heidegar- to be a self, nave to go against your conscience. In this indicative, this is a time of deep sadness and weeping. Deliverance we've always wanted.


Can't separate dread and glory. A moment of glory, dreadful glory. When God looked at you he only beholds witl1 wonder what he created. You see only man invented sin, as reality of life. Seems to me with a sense of glory, but dread, this is what forgiveness is about. Before you stumble on awareness of horrible thing you've done to God, you've been forgiven. God looks down and says, what a glorious creature. Boasting by God, you wonder why Jesus could say I AM. Indicative beyond indicative that he was the beloved son of God. Aware no matter what anyone thought of him, did to him, he was beloved. You think it's not this way in the Other World? Go and find out.


My wife can't keep my conscience. My children can't. My church. You name the last little flower, or big one --- I alone. The solitariness of the I am is frightening but fascinating. This is not the place to deal with obligation for the world. That comes next. But the burden of that becomes clear to you when you become aware that you act as all men must act' that is not setting up a criteria whereby you keep other me] 's conscience. Exactly the opposite. Gogarten's response to God and God alone.

5/31/72 VISIT: NO 24 - Archetypal humanness.

River of Consciousness. You were either drowning or swimming or you missed it. 1. Not me related to Universe, 2. Fate to my given situation, 3. To my universe I create, 4. Awareness of relatedness to being: species. Whom do you say that I, Son of man, am? "Thou art the man." Awareness not that you're a man but "I am what manness is"


Try to avoid Biblical introductions. "I am's cave in on you. Be aware of the eschatological dimension of your own being. Introduction must be tangential thing. Not get them into it. The one in front must not laugh so much the conversation is hindered. The difficult part is making the turns so they go smoothly and not turn sharp corners.

Helpful to recite poetry that is not familiar. Use something to break into a

wide spectrum. I find myself centered too much on the one poetry.

Need not be a plethora of talking.

Don't tighten up reins.

Make sure when you turn that you're on target.

Never quarrel with what is said.

Rarely ask for person to talk more.

Not after clarity.

All participate in the visit as much as those who talked.

Encounter is more difficult because illustrations sound like here. I don't want to tell story in which I'm the hero. The rest of our life we have to get over that neurosis. Most pretentious: I am God's child.

Nonchalance is delicate. Often people give short hand answers. Rarely necessary to ask them to talk more. You're never ministering.

Poetic images should go quickly. Leader get sharp images.

Only way to point to states is through poetry. Develop your own through plays, poetry, movies, novels. Some you make up your own. Think of phrases in books, novels, characters might lead to intellectualizing.

Side comments to get scope or spectrum of arena is a matter of concern.

Person ought to feel free to dump in from stream of consciousness. Jesus walking through crowds, toss from afar. Don't take it seriously. Don't care if others take it seriously.

You don't know more than others.

Minimal amount of pedagogy.

Helping folk get eyes in focus to behold world that is always here.

When you tell child to look both ways you're training him to be attentive to life that is already there.

There's a bit of conspiring, opening up Pandora's box. Like voodoo: name the state of being and everything flutters out.

Crucial to keep people's consciousness flowing.


Timing: here, watch out. 15 minutes, stop, 20 minutes, pull trigger.

I answer to a question is plenty. For every image anyone brings out, 1000 click. This induces mass participation. Human is important at times.

INVITATORY: poem, or recollect points of lecture

VISIT: #7 - Final Limits

Yale: elders of church in front, 12 great thrones. Preacher put in proper place. Once you've seen the mystery, never get over it. Omnipotence. This is the interior state of overagainstness.

Hustler: Born Loser. Lecturer pointed to this state of being. What other poetry?

Limits: talk in different way than Bultmann. Saying it from the other side.

Emotions in it. Scream about God, know what fathers mean by omnipotence.

Recessed in selfhood. Grasp this state' crushed, stripped naked, terror filled. You're known. Nothing concealed in awareness, we know ourselves. You know you are an SOB, never again act like one. Can't afford the luxury of kidding yourself. Mystery, in midst, can't escape limits. Terror: I-Thou, we are

social creatures. Man Known --- woman. Only before mystery you are utterly known. Can know yourself.


Relationship before the 4 in a trek more important than each in itself.

We're translating from intellect to state of being. It is like translating from Russian to Chinese. From human to Martian language.

VISIT: #3 - Ultimate Reality.

Story: roadrunner, coyote chasing' scene in every one, going out over the cliff.

"It's like standing on a square mile of cloud."


Seemed to follow the same rationale as scripture or spirit, but you use different tools. 1. Identification of awe, 2. Looking at it, 3. Making it everyman's experience. The Psalms, you were in the state of awe but stepped outside of it and looked at it, around it: happiness within happiness.

Theology: Nothing to do with imperative anyplace ~ anytime. Imperative mood does not exist in the other world. Not even a flicker that they ought to be different or do something. We have dealt always in extremely dangerous areas.

You can turn someone into a life-long, zombie. If you dare touch anything moral in this conversation you've destroyed them. Indicative, indicative. What you have here is spelling out in detail the resurrectional principle. The last question, is really what does it mean to be a resurrected man. This is the key to the new morality. All the questions are only dealing with that state of consciousness.


1. Visit is more detached.

2. More a happening than image

3. Informal chatting incidental interchange

4. Self inspection.

ROLE OF VISITS: visits on behalf of the last "fat lady." The new evangelism, and the concretizing and dramatizing of the NRM which undergirds and motivates the NSV.

5/11/72 VISIT: No. 11, Second Birth

Totally Reincarnated.

Two episodes, quite different.

1. Sartre's, No Exit 1 man 2 women. In death you are frozen in what you are, not what you intend. Rain of hell, you never get loose from what you are. Man: coward, and his one concern was not to be a coward. Younger girl: murderous. Older girl: lesbian.

2. On trip. (see Aimee's notes)

5/15/72 VISIT: ~ 13 - Essential Dubietv


Ever since I felt we faile1 on a visit my self-confidence is so shaken I scarcely know what I'm doing. For that reason we're going to have a visit on the 1st point of the 4th lecture. On the -topic of consuming devotion, or adoration of the mystery. The one who posits his being before anything other than the mystery has to imagine adoring the object of his devotion. But this is not what I mean by adoration. Adoration is the state of being elicited solely the mystery, by No Thing.

Self-doubt It's like experiencing spoof on cosmic proportions. It's like walking in a room and everyone laughs and you don't know why. Fly open? Hair not combed? gorgeous image that holds this for me is the "Laughing Jackal."


When I look back on my colleagues teaching - somebody asks How do you know talking about an illusion isn't an illusion., that faith isn't an illusion? If you try to give an answer, you're lost. your answer is, "I have embraced that question." Without your e7periencing this state of being you can't give that answer. If you say I don't know buti This state of being is the radicality of that question. Your answer is tnat you've embraced the possibility of embracing being an illusion.


Or what I call O Perfect Love, my love for God. And here, if any of you are interested in the theological question of sanctification, this is a crucial anchor. Adoration is only possible on the other side of being cosmically spoofed. You cannot know the love of God. Disclosure of undisclosed. This light both ways isn't resolution of any intellectual issue. What is revealed is the unrevealed, the mystery. In which you experience yourself as finally excluded. Tho in the darkness the light shines bright you're as a 2 year old child. God is hidden. Until you see teat, you can't understand the absence of God. Or God's presence is his absence, his absence his presence. Cosmically homesick, never ever, ever again have a moment of ease. It's in the midst of this you behold within yourself Adoration, or you lcnow that you love God. The experience of the fires of hell that you walk through to the center become sheer glory, but they're hell, but they're sheer glory. Wonder that cloud of apostasy is a wonder of God.

6/5/72 VISIT: #15, Transcended Immanence.

Thomas Wolfe's book, brought me back to the journey. The question that has been my fascination is, where is home? (Story-back to home town. No.) State: Search; All that has been is not you. You see it as you. You know you are home. "Journey to the East" always going home.

Mountaineers - many roads - all lead to one place.

Go for hours and never go through a town.

Got lost - stopped woman - go to Pruden I'm not lost

POETIC IMAGE: Over River and throug'1 woods.

LECTURE: Objectivity of awe. experience lostness. Kind of yearning. Care about nothing else. Clue: Love God. Yearning.



MANIFESTATIONS? Never same again. Like souvenir.

METHOD: STOP and talk about conversation. Have insecurity! Not interested in intellectual clarity. Don't WANIT this state: Hate it: yet fascinated. Afraid of flying - yet fascinated. Terror in this state of being. Story you tell - no direct bearing on conversation. No matter what story you tell it has relevance. 64 visits Lectures A Mystery, B. Conscious of God, C. Mt. of Care for World. 3. Sea Tranquil, --problem peace death. 500 years since people have dealt with this awareness. Recovery: wonder - don't let minute ~o by. S?ot it in another person. Wham, all the time. Gift to individual. Positing you in midst of word to appropriate word. See all life good/received/open.

M Journey - could be healing tool. We'll be sacrificed - psychotics. Need to be held together. Psychotic drowns. In this - swims. Once get anchor - recognize state - life preserver.

Practical Manifest is crucial. Reluctance to deal with mundanity. Feel as if you've had a teeth. Experience fear and fascination in this conversation. Need to sustain ourselves. RS1 will never be same again.

Humor is crucial.


Honeymoon. Poor etiquette. Lyn got out of car, drove on but she had left her purse and bag in car. Drove back to find her. Don't know now how we ever met up again. Great honeymoon. Stirred. Still trembling. Puckering self doubt. Doubt the self in midst of grasp of glory of everything. Revelation - reveal more un-revelation

Doesn't solve single thing. Precisely 2nd journey night, dark nite, discover love God.

Perpetual absence of presence of mystery. Heido - chasing echoes. Sometime I feel

like a motherless child. Leaves unfillable vacancy.


Let's flip . Don't say nothing just look. Look all at once. We've got landscape. What do you see? I]hat is this state of being?

Coagulation of happenings in midst. Complex concrete. You'd be reluctant to share. concrete goingonnesses. Sequence of happenings in S'71 and thereafter. (Mystery of Missing Mystery book. Graduated at)

Practical manifestations?

Get two suitcases, all aboard.

Difficult - confused with Dark nite of Soul. Comes when you have it all wrapped up.

Reflections. Scandal Every time God discloses himself and you have - he is gone. God is invisible. Wrestling with angel Jacob gives him a name. Hardest part - get poetry to grow. Helpful to say mystery is absent. Given time to remember tune. Poetry. Brood thru whole life of chart. Look thru nooks and crannies. Give people permission not to write. Every question is same question, state of being. 3rd

question enable everyone to see they've been in this world. Didn't have eyes. God is not a slave of church. Xt is essence of God. God not dependent on anyone. Xt happening is dynamic in essence of God himself.


Songs: ,ale ,isoc wprl fpr upi. Slow it. Fi~,ht thw whole group. Force group to get inner meaning out of particular words. Ilamlet's soliloquoy. Make words deliver the universe. Dance arounp; the Ed~e of aLvss.

Hard to reappropriate childhood. I see myself as 8 yre old. Had hard time keeping my hair combed. Unkempt hair. Face with deep set eyes. T~istfully sad. Clothes never seemed to be on right. Lopsided. Se ~rself on ahillside on a sunny day.

LECTURE: Always being ahead of yourself. Met myself coming back. En sor Pour soi.

Tells a state of being' not intelllectually grasp in pitch black mystery. tiothing

to stand on. Put pieces together. Self hood is like they made a mistake, You

become pinwheel in 4th July fireworks display. Boy is in mend and man is in bby - pushed

ontologically. State of being conscious. You and you alone created yourself.

Nothing else went into it except your raw creativity. You fool with creating own



Flip it. That state is this table. I walk around it. I would describe it as I walk

around it. Talk about awareness. tThat do you see?

Spiderweb of happenings in midst of this - essence is kind that created its own

essence. Concrete set of circumstances in which this has happened.?

Practical manifestations - not cloud 9 - most practical things you've ever done?

Found I was operating out of grandmother's ethics. I~ow its freely received freely

given operate out of different context. See where weak part of table is. Paint

to that part of body - skin on back of hands. '!7e've come back from where we didn't go.

~Reflection. (Ease with which time flowed was enabling. tave me a chance to think up answers) Important to allow everyone to answer even though don't say it aloud. Could have been done in ]5 minutes. Beware that no-one ends up with intellectual clarity. Although we do have clarity we're not out to have clarity. The figure of the hlazing light. T~hen you have looked at sun -you look away and see a black dot. You dont see trees you see the light. This job is never finished. We could do this 1. ooo vears and it would change each day. Earlier gestures were helpful. SelShood helped initial poetry. When you pull in objectivity of things in room helps us keep focused. Discipline of attention of group will be important. Important leader guide our attention. Challenges discipline. Watch when awe strikes then relax. Smarty pants will emerge. One thing when guy throws hand grenade in RSl;you can't carve him up, here. It would be disruptive. Guy who whites letter is intentional smarty pants. There will be one place where whole group will be involved. It would have to he long enough or deep enough to involve all. Awe was forced when you conjured up image of yourself as a child. In principle we didn't haedto do any of the visit. Whenever we speak it is not like a motion picture inside. It's like a dream. Most are now gone. Flick went though me. I"m not the same person that I was when I started. Fir$t time I tried to get said what the existential question is. It's been image and accompanying affections before. (On occasions question you ..) Network of happenings. I was aware of double awarenesses I started remembering college and particular roles I inventioned. The figure to use tobegin in not on our lecture sheets. BeinF out in front of self and meeting myself coming back is first part of lecture here. This ;s self illumination. T1e need to do historical thinking. Ti's 500-600 years that man has been aware of this.. (Look up Judaism Hassadism 2. Romanism through modern period 3. Don... )

VISIT ,-~'~ 7- 32


3.4.72 Been thinking of sp. conversa-tion. I~at's biggest lie you ever got caught in? Biggest are the ones you got cau~5,7-it in. De~ree of caughtness measures size of lie. Younger brother and I in Cor?us Christie. Hitch kiked. Ilent by ship. Went to see caps. Crew was mean. Ski~per said do you play chesso, Yes. Pretty good. Second day out we were ill. Sent word for us to play chess. Brother came out head first. Green's bood on Existential. "dreadful freedom' >70t after intellectualization. or theology. But stat of being.? Describe awareness? What was externality that was ther when state of being occurred? State? Practical manifestations?

Reflections. TThat went on? Sou 1lave lo folloT.^` somebody into the other world. Can

be done with gestures as well as words. I have to ~o into the other world. You

cant ask me to bleed. TTecessary to go with anot.,er. This is teaching how to get

through intellectual understandincT. You wer creating a state of being and moving

through it. Its like scripture readin-. The scripture reading is what you respond to.

Ther can be no preparation for a visit. Your preparation is your own life.

Visits are all the same thing. Struggle to stat on centre. Mystic - experiencial rx

response. Indians say 4 syllables in ohrra o 11r, silence By end of q 4

you move back and forth and get new awareness of state of heins.

No expressions of heing liberated from morality. Oreat revival can't take place

without what we're doing now. This is closest we 'vecome to evangelistic tool.

Awe makes you clean. ~ligh reso'.ve alsays has quality of vahueness. 77hen young you

did nomething naurThty. You resolve to ~od FFrorn this moment on. i~esolve dribbles

into the concrete. .<eep at it for 20 vears. 1~-1Freedom is w'nat I want. We may

need fast as well as task -structures ~110T5 ,ide t.;s e.:~erience. Something practical

to drive you loose.

To stop hating. ?love into the a-Te. x?er ence irritability. Psych hatred related to

spiritual hatred. If spirit is not ,Ta.hed aT*av any release is temporal release.

Psych release is burial under ~eelings. or lob-otom~,T in relation to hatred.

But it grows. 7r~70rd forgiveness becomes actuality. xEmp There is effect of sins being

washed away as well as knowinc~ God has for,~iven me. TQebuild authentic life flowing

out of others lives. Torgiveness is forever. Totally complete forever. Doesn't

mean tomorrow you may not hate. But it is :Forever. 1 John When GodEven enduring

psych. maladies are clean.

Teaching - unprepare visits. Intellectual clarity mav intensify your despair. Won't

necessarily get down road in sp. journey

$:'ISIT ;'!1' -23

4.30.72 t TFIE AUT,1E TIC RELr,TIO~

I remember University period of rr~y life, Summer wor1'ed nth of S. Francisco. He went

to Logging Country work in outdoors, woods, make money, to evnagelism. Got used car.

Baptist missionary assigned us to town circle ballev ~icThway ~--lol. Didn't make much

money . Swimming place churning river, boulders, deep, I am freedom.

Poetic Image?

Stat of Being?

Life Experience?

Occurs when bottom drops out. Ptsurd knoT~ ins have 2 alternatives. Live and die. Find

m~aself showine up in a new illusion. P~el. ted to vocation and chastity.

VI~IT #91-24


5.8.72 On Daturoay aware despair. It was the ~rQeting but )cnew it hE`I to do with wind owe.

Realized same scene aa ny bacic perch. '1' ~en I saw :,omething else. At the top of

Hancock you see niany things. At Kemper saw only flat~, ugly, like desert - junglo

desert. Idea of uz~an bacare naweatinF,. Reminded mc of old ders. Ride in L to

£vanston. qouldn't want to be assi~led to that office' Aware that image over

against tne idea is not only necessery to taL6c ahout spiritual bpirit is in nother

comain, but I don't know what I'~n talir~, about in rational idea. bledd good image.

Iwareness of self. Creativity. Little L3i~ Man - ry heart soars like a hawk.

Mount up wit.u wings as ea£1es. Levisation.

Poet~y can be ar.ythinp - not somettiin~ you've hed d. Poetry clarin,ies areea~

Face in rrirroe clari`'ies it. (:uru fi;.d one .,ooc: DoetiC i.-ni~`e. ..ould clraw out, rather

than 1-Bed back. Give r,erson roor! a;~d nialcc`~.ce. Keep T,edop;ogy out af it.

Isna,~e to bol`1 state of hein~.?


Analyticall~ ~scribe state of bein,j? Rer~ert:>er ~XiCp~h~nt~-

~S=~:o-~X~;Kth>~£Y~c-~:5t in concrote experience situation - Qidst of

w:aich state oi bein,- occunre<i?

writer af church papers. I wrote dam an in".ight ethers rrabably thought of at sane

.imc, I burl: t',ere till I finfiHed hith it.

Preacher says he has livertyr. It clicn't co~x fror-i hi~. Insturrnent of God. Make

distincticn bet~reen libertyr (GitUt~tio~) ir which mareness was oc~imed. In

daily office heard every sini~le voicx`, '::`r~r r.',~selt in irirror



4J12/72 VISIT: f25, beyc~no R~orality

Cratsing th~ P.ivor; trcm the more1 into the ontolog.ical.


t~\In the cc~vareatia~ ff~e guru has to s~?ln, nc~t as mu~ &8 in spirit converaotlea.


In n.~o~nent of great ~7cral intensificatiori you went thralch th~ r,oral. The llcentloue

r~an ia s.LLf-deei~red. It's mlotuer ree*~n ~rou~ ~areness of sin. Sirl which

ycu are. Comes the awareness1t? that thi$ {a th~ ontolog,lcal mal:n. I tc~?~ity

emerges. RX~Xs

~._T i'-i

.?/13/72 ( ~25



In the oth?er w?orld 1ivinf: is -?~=d };, - ;'1 ~1t' evil.

Me th od .

Poctry: in ca~,£turing an establisne.~ h ~.k C}.{ p~- in ~ of beInF ~lssion

you h.3're ~'o strikes on h$~. Tbaw T W~ be s~ol in the fi~ure. Put

watercress ure=d it. It's why we a?y n~od ,nstead of wan cuss. C.~ and

evil h~s a 1ibra,3r of philosophy behind it.

Burden of describl:ig t.~e 8tBt. of bc~g bQhiAd poetr~. Yaster~lay we

went too auici`ly to occasicn. Ca~sequencos ls crucial. ~yn my boys say

I'r~ old fo2ey, I enY bu11 shit)', I c u. relate to boys an3 not th`;~r s~'ectivity.

Man~festatlen of Y:ate of be1ng:. Tnis riv~- c.eta~Tnant t~at enal>les the ability

to dea1 with thc ',oye. If you can't say t,~e consoquence';, you 11cd ahout the

e~ate .

Differenoe: Ca~ve:rsai or~ .

Talse ~e-1e by tbe n-e and lead them into tile other ~c~rld. Vlett 1s ~ and the~o

8ittin~. dc~rn fcr a secc~sd in the b~her wcr1d and ~riaiting.

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Visit: #26 - Intentional Conscience

One of the wildest moments of r,y life was the ride on Icelandic Airlines. You

have an overnight stay at "Rekikeyvic". I was standing on a knoll where I stayed.

If you looked to the north vou had har: en mtns, not sharp but rolling. They

reminded me of the TX~KXXdf moors of Scotland. The hlended into the sky -

couldn't te ~ .

Dullness. What I see in tapestry prin ;, from the movement of concrete to utter

etherial. You don't see t'ne transition. I turned to my right (the east), and

spent the longest time figuring it out. A 1,lan!<et of whit mist cloud cut out

evert~hing. Things came in to view. lt was li]ce a peek tnrough a veil. This

is the way they heat their houses. They are en a volca~o. lt is hot springs

coming through the ground. linen 1 looked to my left. All 1 could see of that was

a huge church tower. It would take a square headed horeeman to do it. It was

a square and a steeple. Later on 1 saw the church couldn't handle the tower.

That gave me a symbol 1n the m~dst of eeriness.

Looking to the south across -the ocean it sbarted to rain from where I was standing.

lt was underneath me. There was a square of rain. I walked out of sight. Hefore

you could blink you walked toward ~t and 1t walked out of sight. If watched it

all day and it happened.

You can't buy these moments. Life sudden"'/ appeared.

Visit: #27 - Cosmic Sanctions

"My Beloved Son"


Difference Between Visit ana spirit conversations.

1. Far more Detachment from yourself. e.g.: quality and experience of awe will

be different. X~ Detachment on the other side of engagement. Detachment when you

have given yourself. One place you have the slightest ounce of objectivigi]

relative to pour being. You experience yourself as huge and experience yourself

as a Lilliputian. In the midst of awe watching that the little one consumed by awe.

2. More happening than imaging. Stick a pin in yourself. You have a ~k happening

not' images. Sartre: great thing about being stuck with a pin-you know you're

alive. Aware of being alivi: happhappenlng. Spirit converaation: flooded with


3. Incidental: informal chatter- intentionality builds up. I would judge the awe


4. Dutiful Affliction: self inspection. Gonug to be the kind of self-inspection

beyond-self accounting. TiJon't come with pressure on you. A different kind.

Raw indicative. The My God, I am the sheeptold. That is self-inspection. Like

crossing the river you met sin head-on for the first time. Sin as an isness in

itself: scandalized terror.

5. Small talk. setting up relationships rather than getting imaginal context.

JI~I1 2&

~ h I ~ i~ L -~TOCATIO1.

4.20.72 I've been conscious of boyhood. country was 99,~roci~. 1ourist senlc child to see what people were eat' n2 . Looked like they were eatinlC rd~ I reqlernber caves "Airport Cane" ru~or wa.s it was an aitrport. Until tods me up for l~t flight cave was sink hole. Inside was throne room, size of 3 room A's. r~ascinating was at one dide water was standing. numom was cave underneath. If you crawled 50-75 ft, rhmor was another room's room. bpeliolo~ist is cave aunt I an conscience. "a char`;e to Keep" son,5 holds states of bein,`. Authenticity' 1st responses "I don't know anuthln. about 2nd s [hat isn't so. ratterns we develop relative to freedom, creativity, perfect love - we pat a cover on it, we dread it and don't want to participate yet I am particlpatin`. Other tin~s come to your mind. roetic image State of i~ein', Life Occaslons rractical consequences' iiot only sayhE~, but livin~ out. of new morality.

4.17.72 i1~11 27

CObMIC o',`'CllC'`~.

In Reykevik - standing on a little knodl - ncar where 1 was stayin..

~tandin~ there if you looked north - barren mountain - like move of ~:

~cotland. olended into s~y - r~reat dullness. Closest thn~ to what

always looX for in Japanese pri.qt. rro.~ concrete to utter htherial.

Iurned ri~.`ht - to East, every onec in a while just a vlanket of white

~nlst would cover everything. olowly~ the landscape would come back ~nb

view. Like a peek thru a veil.

Long time la ter I learned Iceland ~rs heat their house, Loo,~ed i84 -

left - to West - a very funny t'~,i 1,, `~ll I could see fo the city was

a inure church tower. htran'est thin~ you ever saw. ~quare - went up -

way up. Church when I saw it later couldn't handle tower. ihat ~,ave

me a symbol in the midst `'f the eeriness. 1hen when I turned oouth

from where I was standin' I could see squares of' rain - looked liice

it was walking toward me - before you could blink it would walk out

of sl';ht. I watched later and on certain days it would ruin all day h

long. :.m.ments in which what l'd meant by life all came together

at the t ~aoment.

Can you point to the external occasion which this awareness came to be once upon a tirrle.... Be carefu:1 that you do not start theologizin,`:. A practical manifestation in which the other world and this are wedded. We talk about dole,` the i~possible the failure ~entality. We're talkin~ here about where the spirituao power comes from - illlid1 song. When you singthat son' you are aware of how precious those moments are - those :noments oome alive a ~aln. ~e think we live out of, our ph9E ph rsical energ;y. we llve out of spiritual power.

I feel we're little chldren here - got to keep at this a bit

VI S I , iti!32


Yesterday a loud noise. Across back of our apartment are 3 windows. There are

4 exposed panes in back. Bunch of bonys in neighhorhood. Bottom pane in back

broken. Never break others. As soon a put back in they break it. We put ply wood

there. Someone decided to fix irindow pane. I^lham. They've decided whoever lives

in that apartment will have that window out.

Stat of being: response to God.

Awareness of inescapable accountability beyond anything.

Get your mind around state of awareness. Describe it.

External occasion.

Doubt wheterh you've ever been authentic. You skirt inauthenticity. Fascination is

with your final identity. Fascination with being tromped on. Artists burn their work

They want to tear authenticity. Terri~ying awareness. You put somebhing into history.

To go into another world is self consciousness. You've been in it all your life.

JWM - colonaal - role as clergyman. ~hileration in midst of terror. When think

back on it I was being accountable to not anything. If I didn't do that I would go

out of existence. Anger accompanies. Person better not open mouth.

Practical Manifestations.

Grab suitcases and return.

Other world brushes you. Passages of Tlebrews. 5trer they burn off land. Everything

that has aLppened up to now Is obsolete


1. Silence in room. When Wit'f~ comfortable people, silences dont bother you. Silences

have meaning. 2. In second? "Sometimes we co on to next. Sometimes we go on uptil

we get to the next. 3. No such thing as failure in these 4. Timing is crucial.

Abrupt shift between questions 2 and 3. didn't 'rlarrn visit. 5. Visit goes on a

train track. The track keys aide it, or rna~ybe we shout II:DIANS so we get back on train.

6. In accountability its not to anythin-. Iot moral. 7. Lecturette. Deal with

indi cative. to become aware of claim or imperative is an indicative. That's what

life is about. Thats the given. 8. To get rrain back on track requires powerful

images. 9. No help you ass uTr~e responsibility for your life. I wa bein,~ caught. I

got by. That becomes a terror.

INTRODUCTION TO VISIT. 1st story shapes 1st response. Instinct to make it personal

EstciLlish trust in group. Talk about where you've been.

Comments .

1. These paralyze you more tnan spirit conversations.

2. To complete the conversation -,re nee:-3 to real',y ~,et out the practical manifestations.

I never got over the 2nd question. I i~ept cc-!in,= bac2: to it.

3. In spirit conversation t.he quru is detacnel. In visit not detached but can't

be smothered.

4. These help us with clarity on lectures.

5. These are more dangrous than s~. conversations.

VISIr L 35

T~pO-<Af, s,nflTT),A-?TTY

Mountain of Care. I want to S,ly rQountains, but people who live in many peaks say

mountain .

Appreciation of this world. ~ecar~e a,?are thar mosr possib. 99°~- never made it. Here "

"I is l

1. Startling awareness. This is only world I have to live in. 2. IIellova good

universe next door doemn't exist. 3. Solidarity. Time in wnicf1 he became aware

this world is his conscience. Said to all world rain or shine ",~ood morning cousin"

~JISIT 35 cont.

State of being. This state hxxthis diamond has a thousand edges.

Can you grasp image of state of bein c?

Sense it will happen fraction of second before it happens. My god don't let this


UTeb of goin~onesses. Ever hear it described? _ternalities in midst of which this state zxdxpktx~£xmpk~om oozed out of nothing. Take this state and raise word in rnl~t;on to tr:;~ c:r.-~r~

Behold to be this state is never to recover from it. Has quality of being never again. Continuity of life is part of our ca~pacity for consciousness. Thie state knows you Thow am I set apart from other peole from then on? Practical Manifestations. Can't answer this for anyone else. Talking about indicatives Deeply personal.

Prob: Gogarten - assmunigg burden of world and becoming Savior of this world. LIystics abstract things from this world. No ro~anticism. Tragic world under doom of god. Take time to relate christ happeninp; to this.

Questions are key.

Don't intellectualize. Feelings and images come, not words.

First half of conversation images had to do with nature. shifted to image of neighbour

? way through.

Cousin illustration. That type covers 4 levels. Spin needs to come out of an


Poetry: state this is an awareness not an abstract about life.

Illustrations crucial in Bali asked "water buffalo't definition (~kkg "Our dear friend

the water buffalo Our dear friend the world. If not - Doom/ God made desert for them

Ball image crucial.

Oneness with natural world nor experienced as under Doom of God.

Need image of whole creation.

Reality is the states of bein~.

State of being is relationship in this world. It is a relationship beyond intellect.

Not thereness but posture toward thereness is reality.

Scriptures - orgy - wrath of God. Experience state of being. Wake up pulled loose.

Jesus at Jerusalem; sober tears.

Anything that comes into being on target? or is any state authentic? Difficult to

untangle x or y.

Pity different from sympathym ,~Iap of 64 should be up. NRLI need to be. Hosea - Gods love

for Israil.

World is dealing only with states of being. Only misdealing gives us council of Idols.

Relation. Authentic relation is this set of categories. The relationship is the state

of being. That is what names are. ~xxxx~edxto

You need to describe 2nd and 4th describe relation this beyond subject and objective

reality. There is a relation that unifies. It is the oneness. Probe bottom out of

decision. Therapy of spirit and not the psyche. 40.60.80. man still pouts and has

depressions, angers. He grasps what to do about it. Doesn't know how to do it.

Deep self hatred. Nothing to replace it. I~lot to be improved on - decide. Decision

underneath decision. Map Missinc train. Show up in the conversation. Missed it Frantic

response. ~gx~ixkx£x

Decision - stand present to only state. Imperative only from indicative. States of being included within attributes of God. Attributes of God found in "God Country" He is: unknowable mystery. Eternal; Onmiscent Onmipotent. Natural reason cannot discern God is good. Depends on revelation, happened in Jesus Xt. All other stated deal with goodness of God, In another world view they were dealing with phenorn. categories. This reconciliation of medieval system and what is coming into being. Evidence of continuity axdxxEn~x of these systems.

VISIT ,"37-40


A~;areness of perfect love. 17esley called noment of awareness. Justifying grace.

Saving grace. Sanctifying glory.

Changes to states of being. Understand he's talking about awarenesses.

Wesley got these from early fathers and Christian mystics.

Poetry you'd use? H3'x~`rkE~df no hatred.

Hippies: madlce love not war. Flower c!!ildren.

Perfect love: awareness of anger against God which is love. Barth - Romans to be angry

with God.

Inescapability of Mystery. Bultmannn par 11 ou:~,ht be planted in you.

With tender psyche - won't go away. Turn it to spirit. Flip side - awareness of

don't hate anything or anybody.

State of awareness: Indicative. 7,io~.; could you hate anyone in mystery. Aware of

presence of mystery bestows our not hating anyone. State - aware of God's creation.

Sin in not hating nei,ghbour

Sin is rejecting source of aT.~e ~,~hich issues hating neighbour.

Sin is refusal that issues in the indicatives

sin is relation to god and not relation to temporality.

we love God in man and man in God.

When awe is in room - see if henign issues. In this world we have likes and dislikes.

Spell out clearly "honor thy neighbor,' ~xxxa~dxdxxx Likes and dislikes become

intensified, Difference in way you utilize t}lem.

Psalm 8.

Becoming God - impertinence.

Participating in God.

Practical manifestation of divinely given hope , Identity Question is related to Love

of God. Paul: Roman s - God T~itnesses thru his spirit and my spirit. Besponse is

Abba Fatjer (answer to psychologism question)

Time on your hands. Gave up hating your parents. YOu have time on your hands.

Tremendous energy it takes.

Once you decide to be on time you discover freedom of time. Deciding to be on time is not dependent on spouse, kids. It is a spirit decision. Fromt then on doesn 't make any difference.

VISIT 49-52


Two thing happened in my youth: counci1 and follow ur?.

How many young ones took on responsible leadershic

Older yo~g ones - 17 years more li]<e2O ~vt youngsters not as disciplined as I thought

they were. Whenever you have youn~ one 2 ft. high kneel, stand, when 20 won't know

what it means to be mvt. Has to do with being on time. As easy to learn to kneel as

waddle around room. Young ones shocked in terms of articulated discipline. They are

not disciplined. Says something about the order. Don't have to be 40 to live. At

20 just as intentional, intensly alive. Some reach 50 and are 16