[Oe List ...] A Question I would like to ponder in company

[Evelyn Philbrook]

Dearest Aiseayew,

I do not and can not control God or Grace.  My rational self wants control
and logic and forgiveness once accountability and consciousness come
forward.  My rational self wants to be loved and forgiven unconditionally,
but my emotional self is filled with guilt and pain.  I have to let go of
the self and LET GOD BE THE LOVING GOD.  

To allow ' THE WORD OF POSSIBILITY TO COME IN TO MY LIFE, ALL IS GOOD, THE
PAST IS APPROVED, YOU ARE RECEIVED AND THE FUTURE IS OPEN.

God have Mercy, Christ have Mercy, God have Mercy, Christ have Mercy. 

LET JESUS IN, LET GOD IN, I AM, HAVE BEEN AND FOREVER WILL BE LOVED BY GOD
AND CHRIST.
 
AMEN, AMEN.

I started my response to you in the third person We and discovered I could
not answer you from the heart like that.  

I am crying now filled with emotion and thank you for raising the question
of faith for me, for us all.  

IT STRIKES WHEN WE LEAST EXPECT IT AND HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT.  

FAITH IS A LEAP, LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL AND ETERNAL. BELIEVE.  

YOU ARE ALREADY BLESSED.  YOU ALREADY HAVE GOD'S LOVE.  THIS IS BEING LOVED
BY GOD.

How do I know, it is the PEACE that PASSES UNDERSTANDING.

AMEN AMEN

.....

We, who have been in the Order, know these words all too well, like when I
discover I have to go to the bathroom when the contradictions workshop gets
to close to home, or fall asleep when we go deeply in the spirit realm.  I
have to be watchful and careful with myself, and be gentle with myself when
I am celebrating a life and death of someone close, even if it was just last
week, or 5 years ago, the memory, the energy, the resonance for the YES and
the NO are still with me. This is why I found that Holographic Repatterning
had a place in my life.  I can use whatever resource is needed to shift the
resonance so I can say yes and see the gift that this event which I am
trapped in and am now released from to transform. Some of the resonance
shifting methods I first used with Jean Houston and did not know it.  I
would feel even better when I learned more about how the body, mind, and
spirit were connected to each other after doing yoga, or tai chi or Jean's
sessions, or yogic breathing, or NLP.

It is not a trick, or hocus pocus.  I use as many or as few healing
modalities as I need to have this work for me. We are shifting the
electrical resonance and brain waves just like a certain resonance in sound
once ampliphied can disperse a stone in the kidney.
 
DRINK A LOT OF WATER. DO THE NEXT STEPS WITH A GUIDE YOU CAN TRUST.


What is the issue, restate the issue until it is the real issue and write it
down, you will know it, (this may elude you at first, but actually you do
know what the issue was or is not for you) What was the occasion, who was
involved? How old were you?

What do I need to say to that person for whom this pain is lodged?  What do
I need to hear them say to me?  What do I want to hear from their lips?

Repeat this role play again until the energy shifts.


Ask yourself, how is this event a gift to my life?

Restate the issue as a gift of transformation and write it down until it is
a positive statement.

(YOU ARE A UNIQUE AND UNREPEATABLE GIFT TO HISTORY Aiseayew! Loudly, the
whispered, then normal voice.) 
this slipped out from some where...

What do I need to do to follow up on this shift?

Sometimes I do not need to do anything at all, just allow the new energy to
flow over me and rest.  

Sometimes I need to do something else, like dance to Green Forest music, do
several mantras, breath deeply, stretch with yoga, get a massage on your
head and shoulders, use Brain Gym, Cranial Sacral, thymus tapping, it
depends on what is needed.  You might need a full spectrum light bulb.  You
might need a vacation on a beach, or at least the kinesthetic visit to such
a place.

Let your intuition guide you...it could be a body, or a mind, or a spirit
level release you need. Sometimes I am able to do a self session and this
works. How do I feel now? OR 

Find a Holographic Repatterning person and do a session with them.  This
works for me and is the best method I have found to get unstuck.  These
sessions can be done over the phone, by email, or in person or by proxy, but
you must give your permission to have the session done and you need to
resolve the payment (if there is one) before the session.

Where the foundations of being in the Order fell short for me is the body
aspect and the emotional side of my development.  Or at least that was not
where I was looking to be changed as a priority.  We are who we are and we
can only be journeyed from the place we are at the time we being who we are.


The reason I am responding is because you were the one (of the many) who
helped the Philbrooks celebrate Phil's life.

Do you remember the circle dance we ended the meal after the daily office?
Two circles of people facing each other singing: 

All I ask of you is remember me, as loving you?

(You can remember this... this is for you too.)

Respectfully with love,

Evelyn Kurihara Philbrook

Sitting in Taiwan hoping this message is heard from heart and not the mind
with the movement of the Holy Spirit. Oh my, it is almost 2:00 am in the
morning.  It is okay, tomorrow is Saturday and begins the Chinese New Year
Holiday for the Year of the Rooster or Chicken for my school!

Write me directly on joyful at icatw.com or evelynaphilbrook at yahoo.com 
I am willing to do a session for you online or help you find someone who can
give a you a session in person.

-----Original Message-----
From: OE-bounces at wedgeblade.net [mailto:OE-bounces at wedgeblade.net] On Behalf
Of aiseayew
Sent: Friday, February 04, 2005 11:19 PM
To: OE at wedgeblade.net
Subject: [Oe List ...] A Question I would like to ponder in company

Dear Colleagues,

It has been dark, cloudy and foggy, for several days here in central Iowa--a
little unusual for this time of year.  Perhaps that is a part of the reason
I found moisture seeping from my eyes in the middle of my shift last night.
I tried and tried to come up with the question underneath my rampaging
thoughts and it formed like this:  Where does the sense of absolution come
from?

I have not forgotten that absolution is a response to accountability.  I am
perfectly clear that some would say it comes in the address of the Word, but
I know that I often choose to reject the address of the Word in my life.
That the past is approved is just a fact.  It does not necessarily provide
the sense of absolution.  Throw forgiveness and grief  into the mix.  There
are things for which I have been forgiven for which there is no sense of
absolution.  There are things for which I have not been forgiven for which I
feel no need of a sense of absolution.  Is there is a sense of absolution at
the end of grief.  Does grief ever end?  How do you know?

I may be searching for a feeling, but what engenders it?  I haven't
forgotten that grace happens or it doesn't.  I have never associated a
feeling or a "sense" with the experience of grace.  

I know of no other place I can pose this question, which might have been
struggled with in other contexts.  My e-mail address is
aiseayew at iowatelecom.net if you want to reply apart from the listserv.

Thanks in advance for the dialogue,

Margaret
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