[Oe List ...] Nephew's reflection on Terry Wright's life

[KarenBueno@aol.com]

(Russell Conser wrote the following.  He is my nephew, my sister's adult son. 
 He works in management for Shell Oil co. in Houston.  Karen Bueno)

Friends of Terry Wright,

As I left for The Netherlands on business this week, I did so with the 
knowledge that Terry might pass on before I returned.  How fitting that my presence 
there was punctuated by his final "tidbit" note on Monday and the note of his 
death forwarded Friday night just before I logged off.  For those on this list 
who are family, you know how it often seems that my travels to NL were often 
an unusual convergence of many things that seemed to hold meaning.  How 
fitting for me, I guess, that this trip was not about the convergence of major 
political events - but the converegence of the hopes, dreams and tragedies that was 
Terry's life.  I'm up early today with the jet lag, so maybe a few finals 
thoughts...

Terry was my Uncle.  When I was small he made me laugh, when I was old he 
made me think.  If I had understood more about his own demons, (which I didn't 
understand until I was older) I guess he would have made me cry, too.  And yet 
in his final hours, I feel strangely good about the way his final days played 
out.  Clearly, the consequences of his mortal behavior led to an all-consuming 
cancer.  And yet, this consumption was the very thing that gave a short but 
apparently meaningful journey of ~10 days - wherein certainty and foreknowledge 
of an immenent death, allowed him to leave this world in a perfectly fitting 
way for him.  How fitting for him to have a small but certain period in which 
to reflect and pull it all together into a final sense of meaning unique to him.

I look to his last regular tidbit on "meaning" and find the first two 
definitions fitting to the moment - "…to have a purpose or intention in mind,  …
degree of importance, effect or influence."  Although it seemed he was often lost 
in meaning's pursuit rather than its capture, let there be no doubt that Terry 
lived with "purpose and intention in mind."  In the very literal sense, his 
mind was so intentional it often proved difficult to connect to others in the 
world around him.  Who among us truly understood every word he said?  But who 
among us doubted that he offered meaning in every word it.  But also 
irrefutably, even in spite of this difficulty, he had a strong "degree of importance, 
effect or influence" on all of us.  Somewhere amongst the tragedy of his 
physical struggles and spiritual words, it is not possible to have known the man 
without having been affected.  

As with many tidbits of wisdom, his life feels like one of those things that 
will grow in its meaning the farther we get from its passing.  I am glad he 
shared some final words with us as another "puff of white smoke."  I wish 
Shakespeare were still alive wherein he could capture for the rest of us the meaning 
of such a hopeful but tragic life.  Until someone writes a play about him, or 
pulls together his collected works, I have all of his tidbits and other 
private e-mails from 1999 onwards in an archive.  Although they may gather dust, 
I'll bet they hold small truths and insights wherein the intent of his life will 
continue to give meaning to mine.

May God bless his soul as his self now truly "expands to fill the universe."  
It is I who have been humbled by his presence.  May we all let the pain fall 
away, and let his meaning live on.

Russ

PS:  in my attempt to "reply to all" my e-mail service said "too many names." 
 I guess they have set things up to recognize such things as spam and stop 
them from being sent.  Thus I have truncated to family and familiar names.  No 
harm if others wish to forward to the broader list of folks who truly are among 
the broad list of people Terry might have touched.
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: http://wedgeblade.net/pipermail/oe_wedgeblade.net/attachments/20051120/f9b7e912/attachment.htm