[Oe List ...] Marge Kloepfer

[MJDOVE at aol.com]

Jean,  Thank you so  much for sending the letter concerning Marg's life, 
death and resurrection.  Marg is a significant part of three defining moments in 
my life.  In 1969 she spoke to a group of clergy in the Cincinnati area about a 
course that was going to be taught in Cincinnati called the RS-1.  I was so 
impressed with the presentation that I recruited a couple from the church I was 
serving as pastor, Friendship Methodist Church, to attend that RS-1 and 
evaluate it for our church. (That couple was Bob and Joan Knutson).  When I went 
over to their home after that week-end, and asked them to tell me about their 
experience, they assured me that the only way for us to really talk about their 
expereince was for me to attend the PLC course for clergy that was coming up 
the next month.  I went that that PLC and my life was radically changed!  Marg 
and Roger soon became members at Friendship Methodist and together we 
recruited about 85 persons from the congregation to attend the RS-!.  Twenty-three of 
them joined the symbolic Order of the Ecumenical Institute.

The second defining moment was the occasion of Roger Emig's death.  Marg and 
I were on a recruitment trip to Louisville, Kentucky when word came of his 
death.  I officiated at his funeral.  The evening before that service a group of 
about 50, members of the family and close friends gathered at the church for 
dinner.  A conversation was led by one of the persons who had come down from 
Chicago.  During that conversation, when the question was asked, "What gift was 
given to you by Roger?", a 10 year old boy stood and said that the gift Roger 
had given to him was a sense of how important he (the 10 year old boy) was.  
He went on to tell of the time that Roger was having a conversation with him 
and an adult came over and tried to get Roger's attention.  Then the boy said, 
"Mr. Emig finished his conversation with me before to talked the to adult.  
That made me feel important."

As a result of the conversation at that dinner, I came to realize the power 
of leading a conversation at funerals, for they transformed them into powerful 
celebrations.  For the rest of my ministry, when the family gave me permission 
to lead a conversation as a part of the funeral service, I led one.  It 
included questions like, "What was one of the earliest encounters you had with 
...?"; "Share a time when ....brought laughter into your life?"; "Share a time 
when ....... occasioned awe in your life?"; "When was there a time when ..... 
occasioned your being irritated?";  "What was the one gift .....  gave to you?"

The third defining moment was when Dougie died.  After the funeral 
celebration many of us gathered at the Cincinnati Religious House across the river in 
Kentucky.  Ed Shinn came up to Marg and said a few things and then ended with, 
"Marg, your most important job now is to be able to talk about the gift of 
Dougie's death in your life."  When I heard this, my first reaction was, "How was 
that helpful???"  On further reflection I came to realize that until you could 
get to the point of talking about the "gift" you were still holding on to 
your anger.  When you  could articulate the "gift" you had in fact experienced a 
resurrection in your own life.  What a help that was to me after the death of 
our daughter, Shelley, to leukemia.

Jenelle and I visited John and Marg on several occasions when they were 
living in Pitcairn (sp?).  We always left those visits with a renewed commitment to 
celebrate life as it is and not as we wish I would be.  What a legacy she has 
left to all of her family as well countless others, including me.

Thank you again for sharing with us all, about your sister-in-law, Marg.  
Grace and peace,  Mark and Jenelle Dove
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