[Oe List ...] Labyrinth

[LAURELCG at aol.com]

Dear Ones,
I had to forward this e-mail to friends with whom I have shared and discussed 
the labyrinth and mystical experiences.  If you don't have time for it now, 
please save it for when you can read it in a meditative mood.    It moved me, 
deeply.  Jim Garrison is the president of Wisdom Univ., the latest incarnation 
of the University of Creation Spirituality.  They taught a course in the 
feminine face of the Divine in Chartres, France, last summer, and incorporated the 
walking of the Chartres Cathedral labyrinth in the course.  Would I love to 
join them this summer!  Love to you all, Jann  (I deleted Jim's intro to the 
e-mail, saying he got permission to share it.)


To Jim Garrison and Chartres 2006 Community,


I hope you'll forgive me for the long e-mail.  I realize that you are all

very busy people, but I feel that you should be privy to my experience in

Chartres 2006.  If you could forward this to Lauren Artress and any other

faculty who attended last July who you think might appreciate the sentiment

expressed within, I would be most grateful.  I haven't been able to find

direct e-mail contacts.


I have been holding this story inside since we met in July.  Something was

initiated in July at Chartres which has been nurtured and held sacred.  It

has been deepening and strengthening.  I have not wanted to disperse or

dilute the power of this experience, so I have shared this with only a

precious few.  But now, it's time to share my story so you may perhaps hold

the energy and offer your support as this process continues.


I'm confident that I'm in the company of people who will understand when I

say that last July 2006, inside the Chartres labyrinth, I had a mystical

experience.  I entered into the labyrinth, on that thursday evening

surrounded by candlelight and music, and something happened that I never

expected or imagined.  The outcome of that experience may not be viewed as

so extraordinary by some, but for me, it blew the roof off and has changed

the course of my life.  The power of my experience at Chartres, combined

with a determination to trust and honor that experience has lead me to this

moment. 


I entered into the labyrinth with a question:  How can I serve?


The underlying questions and thoughts: What direction should I take my

education?  I have been teaching yoga for several years, and have been

looking to specialize - but where exactly?  I've studied healing with

natural herbal remedies.  Should I continue down that path?  I am a singer

and have worked with chanting as a pathway towards healing and empowerment.

Should I try to do this more?  I am a  business manager.  Should I jump back

into business to use my skills that way?


Lauren Artress guided me me to enter and my question, "How can I serve?"

repeated slowly, clearly, in my mind.  I was breathing deeply.  I was

centered and stepping mindfully, following this ancient pilgrim's path.


After some time, a voice came through, distinctly:

You must have a baby.


My immediate response was:

A BABY?!  Absolutely Not!! That was not my question.


The voice again: 

You must have a baby.


And me: 

I am not going to have a baby!  The question was, how can I serve?!?  yoga?

herbs? song?


This back and forth went on and I became distressed.  I remember shaking my

head, pressure behind my eyes, trembling which started at the chest and

spread down the arms.  Small steps, taking time, breath ragged now.  A baby

was not part of the plan.  I am not a "kid" person (I've never even babysat

and all children cry when I hold them - really!) and while it's true that

eventually I might have a child because almost 8 years ago in a two minute

conversation with my husband I had agreed that I would have a child with

him, we certainly didn't want to have one while living in france away from

our family and friends.   Coming from a divorced family, having a child is

what I fear most.  My husband and I had already decided to put this off for

at least 4 - 5 years until we get back to the States.  We have our careers,

our adventures living in France, travelling europe...


I guess the key to this is that having a child is what I fear most.


As I walked I started thinking about this fear.  And the goddess whispered

in my ear:  In order to serve I have to embrace this fear, I have to face it

and learn from it.  From an empowered state on the other side of this fear I

will be able to serve, to touch people, to heal, to help.  But, I must first

heal myself.  The voice was clear and strong: it's only through facing this

fear that I will learn what I need to learn in order to serve further.


I'm an aries so I put up a good fight in there, until a woman in front of me

in the labyrinth got down on all fours and started to crawl.  A last ditch

effort on the part of the goddess!  That divine feminine presence was

insisting that I hear this message.  A child.  I must have a child.  When

that woman started crawling, I withered.  I entered into the center of that

sacred space and felt an overwhelming profound sense of being held.  I am

meant to be here on this earth.  I am meant to be here. And I must trust and

have a baby.


The morning after the labyrinth walk, my wise and wonderful roommate said to

me (i did not tell her or anyone else! about my experience)  that she

imagined a mother with her newborn child walking that labyrinth to initiate

their life journey together.  My roommate couldn't have known what a

significant impression her vision had on my newly opened eyes.


So, I went home.  I shared with my husband my experience.  I knew that if we

continued using birth control, things would go back to "normal".  The power

would be dispersed through the simple act of resistance and trying to

control the process.  We stopped using birth control from that moment.  We

got pregnant in November.  I am now in my second trimester.  And our baby

will hopefully be born healthy in August 2007.


I am having a Chartres baby!  because indeed this never would have happened

had it not been for the Chartres seminar.  And for this I thank you all for

holding that space with so much power.  The energy held at Chartres was for

me a bit overwhelming.  I have done what I thought was a fair amount of

circle work, holding sacred space, but, I felt like a child amongst you all.

I thank you all for being there to support this process of knowing ourselves

as divine humans, of knowing the divine feminine both inside and out, of

participating in divine evolution...  i ask that you please pray for me and

my baby.  


On a practical note:

I hope very much to see you big as a house, 8 months preganat, in Chartres

this July!! I am a little nervous about registering because I want to make

sure the pregnancy progresses normally (i am in the 4th month).  I will need

to request accommodation in the St. Yves so I won't be forced to walk around

too much (preferably with my roommate from last year).  Would it be possible

to reserve a place for us?  I would be happy to submit a payment in March if

you would waive cancellation fees.  Otherwise, I can simply wait a few more

months and see how things unfold.  Let me know what you think.


Thank you for your time and consideration.  May your journeys be blessed.

namaste

Shonali Banerjee