[Oe List ...] Trying Hard To Get Real -- about the ICA

[Marilyn R Crocker]

Dear David,

Thank you so very much for your thoughtful and passionate comments
entitled "The Challenge of Intentional Community."  I think you
articulate the pain and concern of many, like Joe and me, who have sat
for months, knowing of the impromptu shedding of longtime ICA staff --our
Order Ecumenical colleagues-- and then who stewed, prayed, agonized, and
remained in stunned silence.

Your letter is a clarion call that we, as OE, need to have a conversation
borne out of faith, hope and love.  Since the 1988 forced "Diaspora" so
many of us, in our various secular employments, have experienced the
reality of being "riffed" and know it usually to be a demeaning,
dehumanizing, humiliating, horrendous journey.  We stand in your shoes.

As much as our vicarious agony over the devastating loss experienced by
beloved OE colleagues like you, Jim Weigel and others, we mourn what
seems to be the apparent erosion of an organizational self-understanding
that many believed would forever stand "over-against" (as JWM would say)
that which compromises humanness, both with respect to internal
operations as well as external programmatic mission.

Your 4 point reflection, including context, is provocative.  I want some
time to process it more thoughtfully and then to respond.  But before
another day passes, I want to say "thank you" for being you!

Grace, peace and love,

Marilyn


On Sun, 14 Jan 2007 15:23:22 -0700 David Dunn <icadunn at igc.org> writes:
> This is the second in a series of talking papers that attempt to 
> broaden and
> deepen the conversation about the future of the ICA USA.
> 
> ***
> TRYING HARD TO GET REAL--The Challenge of Intentional Community
> David Dunn, January 14, 2007
> 
> As you might imagine, being ŒRIFFED¹ leads to a mini-tsunami of 
> deep
> emotions and further reflections, along with a trickle of insights. 
> This may
> also be true for our Board colleagues who thought about and chose 
> Œforce
> reduction¹ from among the available strategies for saving the ICA 
> from
> bankruptcy. The upcoming three-month anniversary of what I now refer 
> to as
> ³the ICA¹s October 16th frontal lobotomy² has prodded me to work up 
> just
> enough spiritual prowess to set sail toward the abyss of meaning 
> making. It
> is the new year and it¹s time to move forward
> 
> It seems important to admit that while I eagerly process my life 
> experience
> by writing, I don¹t presume that everyone is eager to share in my
> ³processing out loud.² I will not think less of anyone who chucks 
> the whole
> thing in the trash. For those who extend the benefit of the doubt, I 
> hope to
> offer some provocative entertainment, if not priceless insight. 
> Nothing is
> guaranteed. I welcome feedback, but ask you to be gentle. I¹m still 
> a little
> tender in spots.
> 
> I¹ve tried for some weeks now to write insightfully but have become 
> mired in
> the too-muchness of everything. I get all wound up but never seem to 
> get to
> the bottom of anything. I also freely admit that I am usually 
> inclined to
> choose a delimited topic and do my level best to make it broader and 
> deeper
> than its natural boundaries permit. Sometimes this habit leads to 
> something
> new and other times it leads to entanglement without enlightenment. 
> So I¹ve
> chosen a more cautious course this time. I¹ve chucked much of the 
> writing to
> te and instead I¹m going to try to skim off the obvious stuff that 
> rose to
> the surface of the bucket before I attempt any Œdunking-for-apples¹ 
> type
> maneuvers. I¹m working out how to separate the disconcerting from 
> the
> essential.
> 
> The first thing that I need to get off my chest is a simple 
> admission:
> I am always falling down, but I know what I can do: I can pick 
> myself up and
> say to myself, I¹m the greatest two.
> 
> There I¹ve said it. I knew that I had to come clean on that first, 
> key
> point. It seems important to acknowledge that I know and believe 
> that this
> is an appropriate understanding of the way life is. What is striking 
> to me
> is to be discovering the difficulty of living out of this 
> understanding for
> the first time at age 64. I¹ve lived a sheltered life.
> 
> >From this side of the RIF, the sanitary acronyms related to 
> Œreduction in
> force¹ are at best quaint euphemisms. Yes, they reference fair 
> labor
> practice laws intended to keep bosses and Boards fair-minded and
> even-handed. But reduction in force is a labored contrivance that 
> avoids the
> human truths. Its use is an insult to our souls.
> 
> The truth about a reduction in force is something far broader and 
> much
> deeper than a sterile acronym can ever convey. In human terms and in 
> no
> particular order, a reduction in force is a reduction in vision, a 
> reduction
> in wisdom, a reduction in energy, a reduction in trust, a reduction 
> in good
> will, a reduction in context, a reduction in possibility, a 
> reduction in
> imagination and a reduction in momentum. I¹m headed toward praise 
> and
> dedication here, but I can¹t not pass go. Avoiding confession on 
> this walk
> around the board (no pun intended: game board, not board of 
> directors) lands
> us somewhere in life where we don¹t want to be.
> 
> So I¹m going to offer a little perspective on what a reduction in 
> force
> creates--in human terms--not in the language of platitudes, 
> euphemisms or
> wish dreams. I¹m going to try to get us grounded in reality so that 
> we know
> what we¹re up against when we come to the spiritual prowess part 
> that moves
> us from ³life is never the way we want it² to ³nevertheless we are 
> free to
> live.² Yes, the man at the pool picked up his bed and walked, but 
> I¹ve not
> had any real luck with quick miracles and believe that gradual and
> considered miracles are a better bet.
> 
> THE WAY LIFE IS AFTER A "RIF"
> There are a number of interesting and disconcerting physical, 
> emotional and
> mental realities after a RIF. As stress levels go up, anxiety 
> attacks and
> tightness in the chest are not uncommon. Eating levels may go up; 
> Pecan
> Sandies offer relatively low risk, if temporary solace. It may be 
> hard to
> get to sleep some nights and it may be hard to stay asleep other 
> nights.
> Some nights, especially when I¹m sans my usual bed mate and have to 
> throw on
> three extra blankets just to stay warm, I don¹t want to go to sleep 
> at all.
> I stayed up until 5 a.m. once last November. It¹s not hard to wake 
> up,
> shave, dress and put on my shoes in the morning, but it¹s devilishly 
> hard to
> face the day two hours later.
> 
> Self-confidence and esteem are a sometime thing--not that they 
> weren¹t
> always a little shaky. These days they seem to ebb and flow like the 
> tides
> at the Bay of Fundy. Just when it might be really nice to enjoy a 
> little
> playful, adult intimacy, my adult self can¹t quite imagine how to 
> pull it
> off. Furthermore, while the first floor part of my adult self can be 
> light,
> steady and unruffled, the basement part of my adult self is quite 
> another
> matter. When I need to rummage around in the cellar for something 
> I¹ve lost
> or need or want or whatever, light, steady and unruffled promptly 
> give way
> to anger, frustration, grief, feelings of betrayal and shrill 
> demands for
> acknowledgment, justice and redress. It ain¹t no emotional picnic 
> down
> there; all is not sweetness and light.
> 
> Concentration is either non-existent or hyper-focused, depending on 
> the time
> of day, or the relative humidity, or the barometric pressure, or the 
> phase
> of the moon, or how long it¹s been since I had a job interview or a
> breakthrough in my business plan, which ever I¹m into that day. I¹ve 
> become
> a great story teller, working over the same material from a 
> different angle,
> finding a nuance in the familiar drama that I had not noticed 
> before. Though
> I¹m boring myself to tears and want to ³get on with it,² whatever 
> ³it² is, I
> seem to be harnessed to this persistent, iterative load from the 
> last year,
> recalling the events and players with whom I was more or less 
> hauling in
> synch until the ground opened up and swallowed us whole, team, 
> harness,
> wagon, and cargo.
> 
> This is where it becomes immensely fascinating and frustrating to 
> observe
> how skillful I¹ve been--or not--in grounding myself transparently in 
> The
> Power that posited me, while still working on taking an honest, 
> creative and
> constructive relationship to my situation, my interior and my 
> undoubted
> freedom to decide.
> 
> If I have forgotten any important experiences of the recently-RIFFED 
> I¹ll
> receive any and all additions, amplifications and corrections.
> I have not forgotten the other side to this coin, the other partner 
> in the
> tango. I have no doubt that the members of ICA Board of Directors 
> have their
> own litany of bodily woes, emotional frailties and mental mayhem 
> that has
> accompanied their journey this last year. I pray that they may find 
> a way to
> speak their truth.
> 
> ANOTHER LEVEL OF ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
> Why am I carrying on like this? Hasn¹t this just been a rehearsal of 
> the
> obvious? Doesn¹t this just rumple the sheets of the bed about which 
> we all
> know I must someday make a decision? Why not just walk away from the 
> pool
> right now, the bed be damned? I can think of at least two good 
> reasons to
> attempt to be both sharper and clearer than broken crystal.
> 
> One, though the ICA¹s Board of Directors seems to me to have ignored 
> the
> fact, we are, at bottom, an intentional community, and our 
> community‹we
> might say our corporateness--has taken a beating in recent years, 
> economic
> realities and necessities notwithstanding. Remember the three 
> dynamics of
> the social/organizational dynamics triangles? We¹ve witnessed the 
> inevitable
> result of not just an imbalance in an organizational process, but 
> the
> collapse of any organizational process. We¹ve not just witnessed an
> imbalance among the democratic, bureaucratic and symbolic aspects of 
> the
> ICA¹s corporate life, our corporate creation has fallen victim to 
> the
> simultaneous inattention of all three. Staff, board of directors and 
> the
> ICA¹s supporters and friends have been asleep at the switch for at 
> last ten
> years and more likely the last twenty years. Hear me well. ³I, David 
> Dunn,
> former staff member of the ICA, was asleep at the switch.² We all 
> were.
> 
> The result of our inattention is having profound human consequences, 
> some
> having to do with our relationships with one another and others 
> having to do
> with the very being of our creation--the Institute of Cultural 
> Affairs.
> Two, the corollary to ³symbol is key² is ³story is all.² Our 
> movement and in
> particular our intentional community, has been adept at telling 
> stories.
> Sometimes we told stories with the strategic intent of energizing 
> our
> partners and colleagues. Think ³5,000 Town Meetings.² At other times 
> we told
> stories to avoid the truth. Think ³Children need alert and honest 
> adults to
> protect them from abuse.² Secondary integrity is a slippery slope 
> from
> strategy to illusion and even worse, to subterfuge.
> 
> It will be tempting to create a fiction about the reduction in force 
> that
> laid off nearly all of ICA USA¹s senior program staff--notably the 
> staff
> with values, practices and images grounded in the Order Ecumenical. 
> A smiley
> face is not adequate. We need to be honest about the operating 
> images,
> patterns, systems and structures that led both staff and board down 
> the
> primrose path toward the insolvency of the institution with which we 
> were
> entrusted. If we try to invent something new and durable out of 
> fiction or
> ignorance, we¹re likely to create something new without integrity or 
> flawed
> or both.
> 
> Our intentional community needs to stand up, ask questions, take 
> stock,
> engage energetically and think acutely. We need to attend to the 
> human
> fallout of this bomb that has just exploded in our midst. I have 
> reason to
> believe that the ICA¹s board of directors is exhausted, wounded, 
> numb and
> fundamentally clueless about how to approach the future and how to 
> relate
> concretely and helpfully to former staff members and to members of 
> our
> intentional community and other stakeholders in the ICA. The 
> consequence
> must surely be an uncomfortable mixture of consternation and 
> remorse. We
> need to wrap our collective arms around them and hold them tightly 
> until
> they find the grace and confidence once again to govern with enough
> peripheral vision and depth perception to include more than 
> economics and
> profitability in their calculations. Care for these people. Ask for 
> a role
> on the Board. Take charge again.
> 
> Some, if not all, former (or soon to be former) ICA staff 
> members--of whom I
> am one--are exhausted, wounded, numb and fundamentally clueless 
> about how to
> approach the future of the ICA and how to relate concretely and 
> usefully to
> the shell of the organization that remains and to the members of its 
> board
> of directors. The greater share of the employed brains, vision and 
> memory of
> the ICA has just been let go without so much as an exit interview. 
> Pilots
> and mechanics get more say about the future when their companies 
> face
> bankruptcy. The consequence is a kind of bewildering sense of being 
> cast
> off, discounted and left without standing to figure out how to 
> relate to an
> institution and vocation that we helped shape and embody but from 
> which we
> have just been practically abstracted. Help us talk through this
> discombobulation and find our way into a role that is useful to the 
> future.
> Help mediate the severed friendships and damaged collegial trust.
> 
> CONFESSIONAL AFFIRMATIONS
> The least I can say about this 33-year experiment in evolving a 
> conscious
> strategy to be the People of God in a global, secular world is that 
> we were
> all naive to think that we could remain viable, let alone thrive, 
> with part
> time amateur managers managing by committee. We fell all over 
> ourselves:
> interpersonal feuds and tyrannies, team revelries and guarded turf, 
> tacit
> agreements to hold our noses and ignore the sacred cows and 
> collusion,
> Byzantine (or is ³Rube Goldbergian² more apt?) accounting systems, 
> and
> failing to acknowledge the harm done when one person¹s genius was 
> felt or
> understood to threaten or diminish another¹s. We were never able to 
> maintain
> our corporateness--after Joseph¹s death? after Oaxtepec? after the 
> shift to
> regional offices? 
> 
> No one I know doubts the genius of the Learning Basket Approach, 
> Imaginal
> Education, and the Rite of Passage Journeys; the Neighborhood 
> Academy,
> community drama, and community resource centers large and small; ToP 
> methods
> of facilitative leadership for participatory design, economic
> revitalization, organizational transformation, and international
> development; and HIV/AIDS education and prevention based on 
> community
> capacity building and engagement. Lord have mercy on my challenged 
> mind if I
> have inadvertently left out any of my colleagues¹ inventions; mia 
> culpa in
> advance. But we were a collection of irresponsible geniuses, some 
> would say
> uncharitably, working on immortality projects. Most would affirm 
> with
> profound gratitude, that paid staff members and volunteer colleagues 
> alike
> shared work on many fronts that, in sum, established lasting social
> inventions with the power to transform society.
> 
> SUBSTANTIAL CHALLENGES
> Now we¹re faced with at least four tough, interrelated questions:
> 
> -- Do we intend to be an intentional community that shares 
> responsibility
> for the future of the ICA?
> 
> -- Is the ICA a strategy whose mission has been fulfilled that we 
> may
> celebrate and let go of or is it an institution with a futuric 
> purpose and
> mission that we need to resurrect and reinvent?
> 
> -- Do we have energy for this agenda or have we run out of steam?
>  
> -- What on earth do we intend with the Ecumenical Institute? Death 
> by
> neglect?
> 
> I intend to write more in the coming weeks and I hope that you will 
> talk and
> write too. I¹m posting these talking papers on the 
> www.wedgeblade.org
> "Repository" site under Reflective Writings.
> 
> ---
> David Dunn
> 740 S Alton Way 9B
> Denver, CO 80247
> 720-221-4661
> cell: 720-314-5991
> icadunn at igc.org
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
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> 


Marilyn R. Crocker, Ed.D
Crocker & Associates, Inc.
123 Sanborn Road
West Newfield, ME 04095
(207) 793-3711