[Oe List ...] With Love, Hope, Peace and Joy at the Holidays

Tue Dec 23 15:58:05 EST 2008

Dear Margaret,

You are on an awesome journey. Seven years ago I received the same
diagnosis, ILC. Such a shock. So many practical decisions to be made while
you are reeling from the news and old images pop into your head.

Mine was not caught on mammograms, either. The last one just six months
prior. My tumor was 4.9 centimeters, which I found myself during an
every-month-or so self exam.  It was so large that I didn't think it was
cancer as I had been feeling for a "little bean-size lump.

I had a mastectomy, too. At the time, I was asked if I wanted
re-construction. I had never heard of that. My image was that show-girls had
breast enhancements - implants and the like. My feminist side came forth
saying that I didn't need a breast to be a woman. and, I was told that I can
always have it done later. What I have discovered is that I don't like to
fool with my prosthesis every time I get dressed. I miss being able to throw
on a sweat or tee shirt to run out for the mail, etc. Yes, I know I can, but
choose not to. I also don't want another surgery, even though, by law these
days, insurance has to pay for it. That was not always so.

I found a wonderful BC support group at one of the hospitals here. Had I
found them before my surgery, I likely would have chosen reconstruction at
the time of my mastectomy. I still go to the group meetings after 7 years.
It's like another family of choice. Every body and every cancer is
different, and there is no one choice fits all. It depends on the size and
stage of your tumor, and your own health and your feelings.

How did you discover your tumor? When was your diagnoses?  What stage and
size is it? Did you have a biopsy?  Will you need to do chemotherapy &/or
radiation (the final answer to this won't be known until after the
mastectomy. It partly depends on whether there are any lymph nodes involved.
Do you trust and feel good about your surgeon? Have you talked with an
oncologist/radiologist yet?  There are a lot of new chemo drugs and
radiation procedures that are now in use that weren't 77 years ago.

Please call me if you like. It seems to help to have someone you can cry,
laugh or bitch to someone who understands, have done all of that to someone
who has been on the same journey. We, our support group, find that many of
us have family that doesn't understand. Men, husbands, fathers, sons usually
want you to have it "fixed" and can't wait until you are your usual self,
back to normal again. They don't realize that you will be different.
Children of any age are scared that you will die, so you try not to act
scared; you can do that with your support group, or me, or any of the other
family-of-choice women who have also traveled this road. I bet you have
already heard from some of them ; Marie Sharp, La Donna, Lynda Cock are 3
that come to mind. There are more that I can't recall right now.

A few words of advice.

Be your own health care coordinator. Each doc. will do their best in their
field, but you are the only one who's concerned about your whole self/being.
Start a loose-leaf notebook and put everything in it -every permission page
you sign, every visit to a doctor, every test you are given, Start getting a
copy of all your doctor visits notes, and lab tests results. Ask about
support group. Visit at least twice to see if it is helpful. 

I leave you with a few books that I found really helpful. You are likely
like me - wanting lots of information. Some people don't.

Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book is at the top of the list. It's quite thick &
most likely in your library. Breast Cancer? Breast Health! The Wise Woman
Way by Susan Weed. Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips by Kris Carr. I think these can be
found on Amazon.com. Read them. They will answer most questions and the
latter two have amazing whole-person perspectives.

Know that healing thoughts and prayers are coming your way.

Hugs,

Pat

Patricia R. Tuecke, Sierra Circle Consulting

Facilitating Amazing Results!

775-333-6998   ptuecke at charter.net

From: oe-bounces at wedgeblade.net [mailto:oe-bounces at wedgeblade.net] On Behalf
Of Margaret Helen Aiseayew
Sent: Friday, December 19, 2008 7:34 PM
To: Colleague Dialogue; Order Ecumenical Community;
earthrise at yahoogroups.com
Subject: [Oe List ...] With Love, Hope, Peace and Joy at the Holidays

Dearest Colleagues,

I have been deeply involved with some health concerns for quite some time.
Usually notes like this come to us from second parties, but my circle here
in Iowa is intensely blood family.  Only a few of them can even begin to
understand the intensity of  my collegial circle, a family of choice so to
speak.  I want to draw the circle of love and care and friendship that I
count on all the time as large as I can.   I am sorry that we cannot combine
the Dialogue and OE lists so that so many of you (as I do) will not get this
two or three times.  When you continue to not know anything there is really
nothing to share.  Now seems the time.

I have been diagnosed with breast cancer (invasive lobular carcinoma--ILC)
and a week from Monday, December 29) they are going to do a complete
mastectomy.  This is a breast cancer that is almost never found on
mammograms and ultrasounds.  I've been through five since August and even
the last report two weeks before the lumpectomy declared "there is no mass."
:-)

I am confident in my doctors and confident in my faith.  I don't know why I
have been chosen for this special journey (not unique, and not a detour) but
I trust that the purposes will be revealed with time to someone somewhere,
even if it is not revealed to me.  I also know that I can count on your
prayers and energy coming my way for whatever results the creative powers of
the universe may have in mind.

My life with you has been a gift of being beyond compare.  Few have been and
are as blessed as I.

Emmanuel, Margaret

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