[Oe List ...] With Love, Hope, Peace and Joy at the Holidays

[W. J.]

I read the following NYT article,
 
The Price of Beauty
Some Hidden Choices in Breast Reconstruction
and, what struck me was a couple of things:
 
1) it's all about a subjective "beauty" aesthetic tied to a recovery of what was lost
2) it's all about money for the surgeons and the hospitals
3) the most complex surgeries having the best outcomes are the least profitable, and require the most advanced skills
4) all the surgeons are biological males!
5) something here about male dominance in setting cultural value standards...
 
I'm not an expert in this field, so what does it mean for those of you who've been there?
 
Marshall
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/23/health/23beauty.html?em=&pagewanted=all


--- On Tue, 12/23/08, Patricia Tuecke <ptuecke at charter.net> wrote:

From: Patricia Tuecke <ptuecke at charter.net>
Subject: Re: [Oe List ...] With Love, Hope, Peace and Joy at the Holidays
To: "'Order Ecumenical Community'" <oe at wedgeblade.net>
Date: Tuesday, December 23, 2008, 12:58 PM








Dear Margaret,
 
You are on an awesome journey. Seven years ago I received the same diagnosis, ILC. Such a shock. So many practical decisions to be made while you are reeling from the news and old images pop into your head.
 
Mine was not caught on mammograms, either. The last one just six months prior. My tumor was 4.9 centimeters, which I found myself during an every-month-or so self exam.  It was so large that I didn’t think it was cancer as I had been feeling for a “little bean-size lump.
 
I had a mastectomy, too. At the time, I was asked if I wanted re-construction. I had never heard of that. My image was that show-girls had breast enhancements – implants and the like. My feminist side came forth saying that I didn’t need a breast to be a woman. and, I was told that I can always have it done later. What I have discovered is that I don’t like to fool with my prosthesis every time I get dressed. I miss being able to throw on a sweat or tee shirt to run out for the mail, etc. Yes, I know I can, but choose not to. I also don’t want another surgery, even though, by law these days, insurance has to pay for it. That was not always so.
 
I found a wonderful BC support group at one of the hospitals here. Had I found them before my surgery, I likely would have chosen reconstruction at the time of my mastectomy. I still go to the group meetings after 7 years. It’s like another family of choice. Every body and every cancer is different, and there is no one choice fits all. It depends on the size and stage of your tumor, and your own health and your feelings.
 
How did you discover your tumor? When was your diagnoses?  What stage and size is it? Did you have a biopsy?  Will you need to do chemotherapy &/or radiation (the final answer to this won’t be known until after the mastectomy. It partly depends on whether there are any lymph nodes involved. Do you trust and feel good about your surgeon? Have you talked with an oncologist/radiologist yet?  There are a lot of new chemo drugs and radiation procedures that are now in use that weren’t 77 years ago.
 
Please call me if you like. It seems to help to have someone you can cry, laugh or bitch to someone who understands, have done all of that to someone who has been on the same journey. We, our support group, find that many of us have family that doesn’t understand. Men, husbands, fathers, sons usually want you to have it “fixed” and can’t wait until you are your usual self, back to normal again. They don’t realize that you will be different. Children of any age are scared that you will die, so you try not to act scared; you can do that with your support group, or me, or any of the other family-of-choice women who have also traveled this road. I bet you have already heard from some of them ; Marie Sharp, La Donna, Lynda Cock are 3 that come to mind. There are more that I can’t recall right now.
 
 
A few words of advice.
Be your own health care coordinator. Each doc. will do their best in their field, but you are the only one who’s concerned about your whole self/being. Start a loose-leaf notebook and put everything in it –every permission page you sign, every visit to a doctor, every test you are given, Start getting a copy of all your doctor visits notes, and lab tests results. Ask about support group. Visit at least twice to see if it is helpful. 
 
I leave you with a few books that I found really helpful. You are likely like me – wanting lots of information. Some people don’t.
Dr. Susan Love’s Breast Book is at the top of the list. It’s quite thick & most likely in your library. Breast Cancer? Breast Health! The Wise Woman Way by Susan Weed. Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips by Kris Carr. I think these can be found on Amazon.com. Read them. They will answer most questions and the latter two have amazing whole-person perspectives.
 
Know that healing thoughts and prayers are coming your way.
 
Hugs,
 
Pat
 
Patricia R. Tuecke, Sierra Circle Consulting
Facilitating Amazing Results!
775-333-6998   ptuecke at charter.net
 
 
 


From: oe-bounces at wedgeblade.net [mailto:oe-bounces at wedgeblade.net] On Behalf Of Margaret Helen Aiseayew
Sent: Friday, December 19, 2008 7:34 PM
To: Colleague Dialogue; Order Ecumenical Community; earthrise at yahoogroups.com
Subject: [Oe List ...] With Love, Hope, Peace and Joy at the Holidays
 


Dearest Colleagues,

 

I have been deeply involved with some health concerns for quite some time.  Usually notes like this come to us from second parties, but my circle here in Iowa is intensely blood family.  Only a few of them can even begin to understand the intensity of  my collegial circle, a family of choice so to speak.  I want to draw the circle of love and care and friendship that I count on all the time as large as I can.   I am sorry that we cannot combine the Dialogue and OE lists so that so many of you (as I do) will not get this two or three times.  When you continue to not know anything there is really nothing to share.  Now seems the time.

 

I have been diagnosed with breast cancer (invasive lobular carcinoma--ILC) and a week from Monday, December 29) they are going to do a complete mastectomy.  This is a breast cancer that is almost never found on mammograms and ultrasounds.  I've been through five since August and even the last report two weeks before the lumpectomy declared "there is no mass." :-)

 

I am confident in my doctors and confident in my faith.  I don't know why I have been chosen for this special journey (not unique, and not a detour) but I trust that the purposes will be revealed with time to someone somewhere, even if it is not revealed to me.  I also know that I can count on your prayers and energy coming my way for whatever results the creative powers of the universe may have in mind.

 

My life with you has been a gift of being beyond compare.  Few have been and are as blessed as I.

 

Emmanuel, Margaret

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