[Oe List ...] Wonderful words

[John Cock]

Wonderful words, as always. Thanks, Janice (but a little risqued, don't you
think?) Follow blue font markings, all the way down, for bell ringers, in my
humble opinion. I espeically loved the second batch. 

 

As my fourteen-year-old granddaughter said to me recently, "Don't you just
love words, Dah Dah!" (She's the same one who whispered in my ear, when I
showed up during her 3rd grade year to share lunch with her in the school
cafeteria, "Dah Dah, I will have to call you 'Grandfather' when I introduce
you to my friends." I said, "But you were the one who named me 'Dah Dah.'"
She said, "Shhh. I'll explain it to you later.")

 

And what word was left of the last one? ...Jewish ...

 

John

 

Here is The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational, which once again asked
readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
subtracting, or changing one letter - and supply a new definition. 


The winners are:  

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying (or building) a house, which renders
the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. 
3 Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize that it was your money to start with. 
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
of breaking down in the near future.  
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting
laid. 
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who
doesn't get it.  
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 
10. Hipatit is: Terminal coolness. 
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) 
12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad
vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer.  
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming
only things that are good for you. 
14. Glibido: All talk and no action. 
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.  
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web. 
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.  
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the
fruit you're eating. 


The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly
contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common
words.  

And the winners are: 

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs. 
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has
gained. 
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.  
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk. 
5. Willy-Nilly, adj. Impotent. 
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a
nightgown. 
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.  
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash. 
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run
over by a steamroller. 
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline. 
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.  
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist. 
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up
onto the roof and gets stuck there. 
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish 

 

 

Don't ask what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive, and go do
it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
                        Howard Thurman
 

 
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