[Oe List ...] Ken Gilbert is shifting gears

[Adam Thomson]

 From Adam & Gayle Thomson, Dover UK

We are thinking about Ken.

As Ruth has implied, humour is part of the 
healing process. All we can do for now is share the following:

This has just appeared in our local church 
magazine (so I thought it OK to share it with a "religious" forum...)

The questions below were set in last year's GCSE 
(General Certificate of Secondary Education) exams in Swindon, Wiltshire (UK).

These are GENUINE answers from 16-year-olds.

Q. Name the four seasons.
    * A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
    * A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink 
because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q. How is dew formed?
    * A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
    * A. The tides are a fight between the earth 
and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the 
moon, because there is no water on the moon, and 
nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
    * A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
    * A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q. What are steroids?
    * A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q. What happens to your body as you age?
    * A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
    * A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes?
    * A. Premature death.
Q. What is artificial insemination?
    * A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
    * A. Keep it in the cow.
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised?
    * A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the 
brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The 
brainium contains the brain, the borax contains 
the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity 
contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U.
Q. What is the fíbula?
    * A. A small lie
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
    * A. Nearby.
Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
    * A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'?
    * A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q. What is a seizure?
    * A. A Roman Emperor.
Q. What is a terminal illness?
    * A. When you are sick at the airport.
Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
    * A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp 
places and they look like umbrellas.
Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning?
    * A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
    * A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Q. What is a turbine?
    * A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head.
That's all, folks.

I hope Ken Gilbert can enjoy these. Our thoughts are with him.

Adam.

At 18:22 20/11/2009, you wrote:

>Hello dear friends,
>
>Ken enjoys the humor coming his way, but 
>especially photos of each of you. If you haven’t 
>been able to send a hard copy photo of yourself, 
>I am now able to receive and print an electronic 
>photo. So, if you are able, please keep photos 
>of yourself coming. They are much appreciated.
>
>I am aware of how many of us are coping with 
>loss, change and the implications of illness. 
>The most recent are Stan Crow’s death and Jim 
>Jewell’s terminal diagnosis. I carry Fred 
>Lamphear in my heart. There are others you know 
>about, and several I have heard about personally 
>as Ken’s medical event hit the air ways. It is 
>difficult to extend care through email. At the 
>same time I am grateful for the ways email has 
>kept so many of us connected across time and 
>space.  I am grateful for the tasks we did 
>together, the engagement in the world that we 
>were privileged to participate in and the memories that flow through me.
>
>Ken is shifting gears. All parts seem to be 
>working synchronously together except his sight 
>between his nose and his right ear. As we watch 
>other people on this floor we are both thankful 
>for the presence of his “selfness”. Not everybody is so lucky after a stroke.
>
>Ken is well enough to be discharged from the 
>hospital but not well enough to return home. 
>That is the small window through which you must 
>pass in order to qualify for in-patient rehab 
>work that the insurance company will pay for. We 
>don’t know if we will  slide through that window 
>successfully but we will be somewhere within the 
>next several days, maybe today.
>
>Ken is shifting gears. W hope for some good 
>cognitive work that will wake up new neurons and 
>axons in his brain to work around, or adapt to, the cut in his field of vision.
>
>Best to each of you. Please pass on to whomever. 
>Our network is so diverse it is hard to know if this covers us all.
>
>Ruth
>_______________________________________________
>OE mailing list
>OE at wedgeblade.net
>http://wedgeblade.net/mailman/listinfo/oe_wedgeblade.net

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