[Oe List ...] Letter to Pat Robertson from Satan

[laurelcg at aol.com]

Pretty good writing from the Minneapolis Star Tribune:   
_http://www.startribune.com/opinion/letters/81595442.html?elr=KArksc8P:Pc:UUUzyaP37D_MDua_eyD5P
cOiUr_ 
(http://www.startribune.com/opinion/letters/81595442.html?elr=KArksc8P:Pc:UUUzyaP37D_MDua_eyD5PcOiUr) 


Dear Pat Robertson,   


I know that you know that all press is good press, so I  appreciate the 
shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks  people when 
they are down, so I'm all over that action. But when you say that  Haiti has 
made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil  incarnate, 
but I'm no welcher. 


The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks  desperate and 
impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains  with people, 
they first get something here on Earth -- glamour, beauty, talent,  wealth, 
fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean  
nothing. And that was before the earthquake. 


Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"? If I had a thing going 
with  Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night 
clubs, Botox  -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my 
style. Nothing  against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll. 


You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip  your wings -- just, 
come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of  bad. Keep 
blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may  need to 
renegotiate your own contract. 


Best, Satan 
LILY COYLE, MINNEAPOLIS



Another bit:
In a small paragraph on page A10 of the Jan. 14 Star  Tribune is a report 
about the remarks made by evangelical broadcaster Pat  Robertson. Obviously, 
Robertson believes in creation, not evolution, or he would  understand that 
earthquakes predate the human concept of a curse. Also, Poseidon  was 
considered in mythology to be the god of earthquakes and the sea; therefore,  it 
stands to reason that perhaps he, too, was offended? 


I hope that Robertson will make a public apology to the  people of Haiti 
for making such a ridiculous statement. 
H. BETH LABRECHE, FRIDLEY

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