[Oe List ...] Fred Lanphear's memorial service

[Nancy Lanphear]

THANK YOU.

NANCY

2010/9/21 William Alerding <walerding at igc.org>

> Nancy, What a beautiful and inspiring story about Fred's final moments! May
> we all find such joy and care at our final moments. Thank you for sending
> this.
>
> Bill and Barbara Alerding
>
> On Sep 20, 2010, at 7:27 PM, Nancy Lanphear wrote:
>
> *Celebrating the Life of Fred Lanphear*
> (written by Nancy Lanphear)
>
> It has been over a week since Fred took his last breath. So much has happen
> since then, many connections through cards, emails and visits. Ritual and
> ceremony has been a large part of our community and family together. Here is
> a brief description of several events and an invitation to the Memorial
> Service.
>
> Thursday, 9/9/2010 - I am writing this evening not being sure how life will
> be in the morning. Fred has spent the last hours with great difficulty in
> breathing and realizing that his life has taken a dramatic shift. Knowing
> that the end of his life was near, he spent all evening (with his bipap mask
> on to aid his breathing) talking with individual family and community
> members. The community sang, Fred joined in. Our family was present with the
> exception of Noah (in Norway), Ilaria (in Scotland) and Rachel (in
> Montreal). Ilaria and Noah were with us through Skype (webcam).
>
> Then about 11:10, after taking his usual sleeping meds, our children and
> grandchildren took Fred to bed. He did his regular leg exercises, counting
> as usual to be sure that his care-givers were doing the correct number of
> leg lifts. At 11:25, with the family by his side, Fred took his last breath
> and let go of his physical body, it was a very peaceful death. Fred had
> finished his work! I miss him terribly. It has been a long, difficult
> journey over the last 3 years but Fred was always faithful to his decision
> to accept what life had given him and to live fully within those limits.
>
> All during Friday morning, neighbors came by either to hold me and/or sit
> with Fred's body. By early afternoon we had the community/family gathering
> where we told stories, shared tears, and reflected on Fred's life. We had
> hoped to have his body in the common house but it was a difficult task
> getting him there and left him with someone on watch. That evening a" vigil"
> was held around his body as it lay in bed with about 35 people and two dogs
> stuffed into our small bedroom. Again it was a time for singing, tears,
> laughter and an incredible prayer offered by a dear friend. It was a
> powerful experience of celebrating death and aliveness all at once.
>
> We sent Fred out on Saturday noon after a processional with his body
> through his beloved garden, singing as we went. There were gifts of Songaia
> eggs, tomatoes, dahlias, a copy of our song book, poetry written by our
> granddaughter, Ella, a note from the youngest grandchild, Matthew,
> announcing his farewell to the "best grandfather ever" (the grandfather held
> the rolled note in his hand like a diploma), and more piled on Fred's
> chest. Fred was dressed in a Kenyan dashiki and his grandfather blanket and
> sporting a black beret from the by gone days of the 60's. The send off was a
> weaving of many tears, songs and joy. After singing the Irish blessing and
> Amazing Grace with dignity, we burst into New Community Bound and Harambee!
> Finally, his body and "casket" made of cardboard that had been graced by
> signatures, drawings and love notes from family and the community, were off
> in his space ship (an image he chose at a recent elder retreat).
> *Fred's* *Memorial Service*
>
> *Place*:  Songaia Community, Bothell, WA
> *Date: October 16, 2010*
> *Time*:  1:00 to 4:00 pm
> *Program*:  Reflections from Family, Community and Friends
> Burial of Ashes
>  Walking the Land
> *Potluck*:  Please bring beverages and cookies to share (juice, soda,
> etc.)
>  Veggies and fruit will be provided
>
> *RSVP*: Please let us know if you are planning to attend and how many
> people in your group.
>  Reservations can be made at Fred's Memorial Website<http://elderfred.wordpress.com/freds-memorial-service/>
>  * **http://elderfred.wordpress.com/freds-memorial-service/*<http://elderfred.wordpress.com/freds-memorial-service/>
>
> *Dress*: According to weather (umbrella and appropriate shoes if rain is
> forecast)
> *Parking*:    Carpool if possible, offsite parking
> Please let us know if you have a disability or need assistance
>
> *Gifts*: In lieu of gifts, donations can be made to:
>  *Journeys   *www.riteofpassagejourneys.org/get-involved/donate
>  *ALS Association (Fred's Folks)*  www.alsa.org/donate
>  *Kirkland Congregational Church UCC*  www.kccucc.org/
>  *Fellowship of Intentional Communities*  www.ic.org/in/donation.php<http://www.ic.org/in/donate.php>
>
> *Questions*: Michelle Grandy (michelle at songaia.com or 206-321-4220)
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