[Oe List ...] Jesse Clements Journeying On

[Bill Schlesinger]

May all our journies be as wondrous.

 

Bill Schlesinger

Project Vida

3607 Rivera Avenue

El Paso, TX 79905

(915) 533-7057 x 207

(915) 533-7158 FAX

 <mailto:pvida at whc.net> pvida at whc.net

www.projectvidaelpaso.org

  _____  

From: oe-bounces at wedgeblade.net [mailto:oe-bounces at wedgeblade.net] On Behalf
Of Lynda Cock
Sent: Thursday, February 23, 2012 1:16 PM
To: 'Order Ecumenical Community'
Subject: [Oe List ...] Jesse Clements Journeying On

 

In a response to a note I sent Molly, she asked me to post this to the OE
list.    I found an obituary online under Kalamazoo, MI.  With this family,
we celebrate a profound life of service and care.  Lynda  

 

 Please post it on the OE serve list, if it hasn't been there. as I don't
have the list on my computer.  Thanks.

Dear Family and Friends,

On Tuesday, January 31st, the home Hospice nurse told us that the doctor
asked us to call whatever family would want to come and have last words with
Jesse.  Anne, the nurse, said that it was most probably a matter of hours.
Peter and his son, Porter, had just been here for the weekend and were
enroute home.  At the call they came back here from Chicago instead of
getting on the plane bound for New York and home.  They were soon joined by
Peter's wife Maria and daughter, Amelia.  Crispin and her family, husband
Reg and daughters Marilyn and Michelle, arrived from Edmonton the following
day.  Two of my brothers arrived shortly--Johnnie from  Washington state and
Dick from Texas.  Two of Jesse's nieces came, Rachel from Boulder where she
was temporarily working and Karen from Houston.  Paul and Aedin were here,
of course, as was Claire and her family, and Anna and Bridin came from Ann
Arbor and New York. There was singing of hymns and songs we've enjoyed from
childhood on through the years, Bible reading, poems, and the sharing of
stories and memories.  Of course, Jesse did what nurse Anne came to call "a
Jesse thing" --he rallied, then rallied more with the infusion of family
spirit.

He was still bed-ridden, still weak, still taking morphine for pain
regularly.  He spoke haltingly in a weak voice, but there were times, such
as the following Sunday evening when Claire and her six, Kriya, Amani,
Muhammad, Isa, Cheyenne and Tara, gathered around the bedside for touching
moments of quiet reflection and the words Jesse needed to say to each of
them.  Athere were other moments when Jesse would have been silent and
seemingly out of it for a period then come up with a rather pithy statement,
such as "There is a word for when you can't remember but I can't remember
what it is."Or he would share on the telephone, such as with grand-nephew
Ian, "I seem to be half and half in a dream state and a reality state."
Another day:  "the problem of the global geo-thermal reality is that which
doesn't help my brother, doesn't help me."  Nurse Ann remarked that she had
never seen one so ill able to analyze and articulate at this level before.

Well, the sinking into near death state and emergence from it happened
several times.

Then came Thursday, February 16th.  Chest congestion worsened and a cough
became constant.  Breathing was very shallow with frequent and increasing
apnea.His heart rate had been over 100 for about two weeks, sometimes way
above 100.  Nurse Ann helped us with a new med and the regulating of others,
we got more pillows behind him until he was in a sitting position.  The
cough came under control, but he was inert.  He was peaceful now, with no
sign of pain.  In the evening the family again had prayers together,
singing of hymns and ICA and family songs, readings of scripture-- all
pretty quietly and somberly done.  At 11 pm Paul and Claire went to their
homes, Karen and Dick to their bedrooms.  I lay beside him with Crispin at
the bedside.  Crispin left to get her bedclothes on and I dozed.  I awoke
about five minutes later, immediately checking to see if he were breathing.
He was not.

Jesse's death was shortly before midnight, Thursday, February 16th, grandson
Isa's birthday.

Without the help of Crispin, John and Dick, together at times and
individally at others, with me in turning Jesse, assisting  when he was
determined to get out of bed when he was physically incapable even of
sitting up alone, it would have been impossible to have realized Jesse's
dream of remaining at home until the end.  Claire and Paul also played
critical roles enabling this.  We didn't know until it was happening and the
help all came together that it would be possible.  Jesse had the idea on
Peter's first visit to install a door bell near his bed to be rung for the
night help that I required.  Peter installed it and answered those calls
whenever he was here.  How can anyone thank another adequately for such
ministry?  Loving friends have provided meals along the way so that we could
all focus on Jesse and his care.  Numbers of people have come to visit with
Jesse or to simply sit by his bedside and hold his hand.  I have felt we
have been wrapped in God's care.

You are part of this beloved community.  You have supported us in so many
ways.  We are so very grateful.  I thank God for you.

About six weeks ago Jesse wrote this letter, with help from each of his
daughers.  It is a touching tribute to me that I share with you because he
wished it to be so.  It follows this note.

Grace and Peace and Gratitude,

Mollie

P.S.  The memorial service to celebrate Jesse's life and death will be held
at First United Methodist Church of Kalamazoo, 212 South Park Street,
Kalamazoo on February 29 at 11 a.m., followed by a gathering for light lunch
and sharing in the fellowship hall.

If anyone should wish to make a memorial gift, the following have been
chosen:
First United Methodist Church of Kalamazoo; Center for Transformation,
Attention Andrew Lehman, 1315 Grand Avenue, Kalamazoo MI 49006 and Hospice
Care of Southwest Michigan, 222 N. Kalamazoo Mall, Suite 100, Kalamazoo MI
49007

1-18-2012

My Community of Family and Friends,

       Mollie has greeted me of a morning with a smile, a touch, a kiss.
She's looked at the bed where I have been lying most of the last 34 months
and immediately begun to straighten or untangle the covers.  She could tell
at a glance if I was too hot or uncovered somewhere.  "Do you want this
cover off?  Do you want a drink?"  "Yes," I croaked.
       She has lifted a glass of cool water and placed a straw to my lips.
With my throat moistened I could now swallow the 30 mg morphine tablet
Mollie dropped in my mouth to stop the chest pain without fear of it
sticking to the side of my throat, refusing to move up or down like a leech
in the jungle of Mindinao.
       If I'd had a night sweat Mollie took off my long sleeve cotton shirt,
sponged, dried and powdered my back and put on a fresh shirt.  I felt like a
new man.  Now-a-days these kinds of experiences bring back to memory an old
love song sung by Dolores Keane that has become more and more dear to us:
       Have I told you lately that I love you?
       Have I told you there's no one above you?
       You fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness
       Ease my troubles, that's what you do.

       Oh, the morning sun in all it's glory
       Greets the day with hope and comfort too
       You fill my life with laughter, you can make it better
       Ease my troubles that's what you do

       There's a love that's divine
       It's yours and it's mine
       Like the sun at the end of the day
       We should give thanks and pray
       To the One, to the One, to the One

       Sometimes closeness is manifested in more distant ways.  Mollie was
driving alone on the other side of town and she passed our favorite used
furniture store.  We liked to pop in because many of our trreasures come
from these places.  She spotted a little bed side table that was 20" x 24"
on the top, the perfect height for me to reach my essentials.  It was not
only slightly larger and more stable than the table I had been using, but it
also had a drawer and a shelf under that.  The drawer was on ball bearings.
To cap it all, this fine little piece of furniture was made in Vietnam of
hard wood, with a fine mahogany finish on it.  Every time I touch or look at
that table I am again grateful to Mollie for selecting something so
beautiful and functional.
       During the past few years, my physical world has been reduced to a
smaller and smaller orb.  First it was to the city and the surrounding
lakes, then it was to the house and our yard.  With a cane or the walker I
could navigate from one end to the other of our ranch style house.  Next I
cut off the small office on the west end of the house where my computer sits
with it's arms embracing 2853 unopened emails.  That left my easy chair in
the sunroom where we receive medical personnel and visit with friends.  The
last line of defense in this Alamo is our bedroom where I hold court from a
double bed enhanced by the handsome all purpose table Mollie delivered to my
bedside.
       Say, have I told you lately that I love you?
       Have I told you there's no one above you?
       You fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness
       Ease my troubles that's what you do.

>From Jesse

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