[Oe List ...] Jesse Clements Journeying On
RICHARD HOWIE
rhowie3 at verizon.net
Fri Feb 24 08:17:01 EST 2012
A beautiful tribute for a loving family...We celebrate you being here
with Being itself in history and thank you all for the journey among
us as O:E/E:I/ICA.
Love to all, God's Grace and Peace, Ellen & Dick Howie
On Feb 23, 2012, at 4:54 PM, Janice Ulangca wrote:
> So lovely - Jesse's letter about Molly. So gentle and full of love
> and caring - Molly's account of the awesome days of transition.
> Thanks to you, Molly, and to Lynda for passing it along. My
> thoughts and gratitude for the Clements family join those of many
> around the world as you celebrate Jesse's life.
> Janice Ulangca
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Lynda Cock
> To: 'Order Ecumenical Community'
> Sent: Thursday, February 23, 2012 3:16 PM
> Subject: [Oe List ...] Jesse Clements Journeying On
>
> In a response to a note I sent Molly, she asked me to post this to
> the OE list. I found an obituary online under Kalamazoo, MI.
> With this family, we celebrate a profound life of service and
> care. Lynda
>
> Please post it on the OE serve list, if it hasn't been there. as I
> don't have the list on my computer. Thanks.
>
> Dear Family and Friends,
>
> On Tuesday, January 31st, the home Hospice nurse told us that the
> doctor asked us to call whatever family would want to come and have
> last words with Jesse. Anne, the nurse, said that it was most
> probably a matter of hours. Peter and his son, Porter, had just
> been here for the weekend and were enroute home. At the call they
> came back here from Chicago instead of getting on the plane bound
> for New York and home. They were soon joined by Peter's wife Maria
> and daughter, Amelia. Crispin and her family, husband Reg and
> daughters Marilyn and Michelle, arrived from Edmonton the following
> day. Two of my brothers arrived shortly--Johnnie from Washington
> state and Dick from Texas. Two of Jesse's nieces came, Rachel from
> Boulder where she was temporarily working and Karen from Houston.
> Paul and Aedin were here, of course, as was Claire and her family,
> and Anna and Bridin came from Ann Arbor and New York. There was
> singing of hymns and songs we've enjoyed from childhood on through
> the years, Bible reading, poems, and the sharing of stories and
> memories. Of course, Jesse did what nurse Anne came to call "a
> Jesse thing" --he rallied, then rallied more with the infusion of
> family spirit.
>
> He was still bed-ridden, still weak, still taking morphine for pain
> regularly. He spoke haltingly in a weak voice, but there were
> times, such as the following Sunday evening when Claire and her
> six, Kriya, Amani, Muhammad, Isa, Cheyenne and Tara, gathered
> around the bedside for touching moments of quiet reflection and the
> words Jesse needed to say to each of them. Athere were other
> moments when Jesse would have been silent and seemingly out of it
> for a period then come up with a rather pithy statement, such as
> "There is a word for when you can't remember but I can't remember
> what it is."Or he would share on the telephone, such as with grand-
> nephew Ian, "I seem to be half and half in a dream state and a
> reality state." Another day: "the problem of the global geo-
> thermal reality is that which doesn't help my brother, doesn't help
> me." Nurse Ann remarked that she had never seen one so ill able to
> analyze and articulate at this level before.
>
> Well, the sinking into near death state and emergence from it
> happened several times.
>
> Then came Thursday, February 16th. Chest congestion worsened and a
> cough became constant. Breathing was very shallow with frequent
> and increasing apnea.His heart rate had been over 100 for about two
> weeks, sometimes way above 100. Nurse Ann helped us with a new med
> and the regulating of others, we got more pillows behind him until
> he was in a sitting position. The cough came under control, but he
> was inert. He was peaceful now, with no sign of pain. In the
> evening the family again had prayers together, singing of hymns
> and ICA and family songs, readings of scripture-- all pretty
> quietly and somberly done. At 11 pm Paul and Claire went to their
> homes, Karen and Dick to their bedrooms. I lay beside him with
> Crispin at the bedside. Crispin left to get her bedclothes on and
> I dozed. I awoke about five minutes later, immediately checking to
> see if he were breathing. He was not.
>
> Jesse's death was shortly before midnight, Thursday, February 16th,
> grandson Isa's birthday.
>
> Without the help of Crispin, John and Dick, together at times and
> individally at others, with me in turning Jesse, assisting when he
> was determined to get out of bed when he was physically incapable
> even of sitting up alone, it would have been impossible to have
> realized Jesse's dream of remaining at home until the end. Claire
> and Paul also played critical roles enabling this. We didn't know
> until it was happening and the help all came together that it
> would be possible. Jesse had the idea on Peter's first visit to
> install a door bell near his bed to be rung for the night help that
> I required. Peter installed it and answered those calls whenever
> he was here. How can anyone thank another adequately for such
> ministry? Loving friends have provided meals along the way so that
> we could all focus on Jesse and his care. Numbers of people have
> come to visit with Jesse or to simply sit by his bedside and hold
> his hand. I have felt we have been wrapped in God's care.
>
> You are part of this beloved community. You have supported us in
> so many ways. We are so very grateful. I thank God for you.
>
> About six weeks ago Jesse wrote this letter, with help from each of
> his daughers. It is a touching tribute to me that I share with you
> because he wished it to be so. It follows this note.
>
> Grace and Peace and Gratitude,
>
> Mollie
>
> P.S. The memorial service to celebrate Jesse's life and death will
> be held at First United Methodist Church of Kalamazoo, 212 South
> Park Street, Kalamazoo on February 29 at 11 a.m., followed by a
> gathering for light lunch and sharing in the fellowship hall.
>
> If anyone should wish to make a memorial gift, the following have
> been chosen:
> First United Methodist Church of Kalamazoo; Center for
> Transformation, Attention Andrew Lehman, 1315 Grand Avenue,
> Kalamazoo MI 49006 and Hospice Care of Southwest Michigan, 222 N.
> Kalamazoo Mall, Suite 100, Kalamazoo MI 49007
>
> 1-18-2012
>
> My Community of Family and Friends,
>
> Mollie has greeted me of a morning with a smile, a touch, a
> kiss. She's looked at the bed where I have been lying most of the
> last 34 months and immediately begun to straighten or untangle the
> covers. She could tell at a glance if I was too hot or uncovered
> somewhere. "Do you want this cover off? Do you want a drink?"
> "Yes," I croaked.
> She has lifted a glass of cool water and placed a straw to
> my lips. With my throat moistened I could now swallow the 30 mg
> morphine tablet Mollie dropped in my mouth to stop the chest pain
> without fear of it sticking to the side of my throat, refusing to
> move up or down like a leech in the jungle of Mindinao.
> If I'd had a night sweat Mollie took off my long sleeve
> cotton shirt, sponged, dried and powdered my back and put on a
> fresh shirt. I felt like a new man. Now-a-days these kinds of
> experiences bring back to memory an old love song sung by Dolores
> Keane that has become more and more dear to us:
> Have I told you lately that I love you?
> Have I told you there's no one above you?
> You fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness
> Ease my troubles, that's what you do.
>
> Oh, the morning sun in all it's glory
> Greets the day with hope and comfort too
> You fill my life with laughter, you can make it better
> Ease my troubles that's what you do
>
> There's a love that's divine
> It's yours and it's mine
> Like the sun at the end of the day
> We should give thanks and pray
> To the One, to the One, to the One
>
> Sometimes closeness is manifested in more distant ways.
> Mollie was driving alone on the other side of town and she passed
> our favorite used furniture store. We liked to pop in because many
> of our trreasures come from these places. She spotted a little bed
> side table that was 20" x 24" on the top, the perfect height for me
> to reach my essentials. It was not only slightly larger and more
> stable than the table I had been using, but it also had a drawer
> and a shelf under that. The drawer was on ball bearings. To cap
> it all, this fine little piece of furniture was made in Vietnam of
> hard wood, with a fine mahogany finish on it. Every time I touch
> or look at that table I am again grateful to Mollie for selecting
> something so beautiful and functional.
> During the past few years, my physical world has been
> reduced to a smaller and smaller orb. First it was to the city and
> the surrounding lakes, then it was to the house and our yard. With
> a cane or the walker I could navigate from one end to the other of
> our ranch style house. Next I cut off the small office on the west
> end of the house where my computer sits with it's arms embracing
> 2853 unopened emails. That left my easy chair in the sunroom where
> we receive medical personnel and visit with friends. The last line
> of defense in this Alamo is our bedroom where I hold court from a
> double bed enhanced by the handsome all purpose table Mollie
> delivered to my bedside.
> Say, have I told you lately that I love you?
> Have I told you there's no one above you?
> You fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness
> Ease my troubles that's what you do.
>
> From Jesse
>
>
>
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